Karen on our staff has been asking Cheryl to do a guest post for the Grace Community Church website for months and she finally agreed. She chose the title “Who me – a pastor’s wife?”. Let me say that I believe one of the most important jobs in the church is that of the pastor’s wife. I’m thankful I have such a good one. For more of my thoughts on Cheryl, click HERE or if you want to know how to honor a pastor’s wife, click HERE.
I have tried to practice this principle in my marriage. Cheryl agrees with this principle also, but being the one better wired for dreaming, one year I gave Cheryl a set of large letters for her office that simply spelled the word DREAM. It serves as a reminder to her that we want to continue to dream together as a couple.
One very simple practice (at least in theory) that will dramatically improve the communication and working relationship between a couple, is when the man and woman begin to give credit for who the other person is, who they are wired to be. When the differences are understood and valued rather than criticized and battled, the marriage is strengthened rather than hindered by those differences.
It didn’t take long for Cheryl and I to realize that one of us avoids conflict and one of us actually enjoys it. If you read my blog at all you can possibly guess which one of the two I am. As a result, of this in our personalities, if Cheryl and I had a disagreement, she would quickly disappear to the bedroom. She always went to be early on days we had an argument. (Yes, pastors have those also.)
By popular request,I am going to post more about marriages on this blog. Over the next few weeks or months, as long as I can stretch what I have learned, I will share some insight into marriage through a Monday Marriage Moment. Today’s focus is communication.
I’m older now than I used to be. I have aches I didn’t once have. My hair is more gray. Recently my youngest son said, “Hey Pops, you are starting to look old.” He doesn’t realize how much I’m starting to feel it also. It isn’t completely bad though. As I have entered what may be considered my “middle ages”, I am realizing some benefits from being the age that I am today.
God was directing my path when Cheryl and I met. I was asking God to provide me with the right person for me in life and ministry. Although we dated almost 2 years, from the day I met Cheryl, I knew it was God’s will that we be together. God never skimps on His gifts and when God chose a wife for me, He knew exactly what He was doing.
Here is a life and leadership principle I have learned the hard way:
For those that do not know me, I would not normally be considered a “soft” man. (No joking allowed here from our staff…Remember I have power!) I am not into many things considered “girly”. Cheryl and I often joke that she could have chosen romantic or comedic. Well…at least I keep her laughing! Still, depending on the place we are visiting, this man often prefers to stay in a bed and breakfast to a hotel.
We have had a great week. We are hitting four states in 8 days, starting in New Mexico at the annual Balloon Festival (see these pictures) then heading to Colorado, then Utah, and now Arizona. We’ll be home Saturday in time for church on Sunday. I’ll try to post more pictures later.
Thanks for all the Twitter/Facebook suggestions of places to visit. I had numerous invites from other pastors to meet for coffee or visit, but this trip was packed with Cheryl time. Hopefully we can connect at a conference soon. (I’m going to Story later this month)
