Ron Edmondson

Someone once asked me, “Who has been the most difficult person you’ve had to lead?” It’s a great reflection question. You learn a lot about yourself answering it. As a leader for over 35 years, I’ve experienced just about everything you can imagine in leading people. And there are certain people who are the hardest to lead. 

I once had an employee call in sick for several days because her snake was peeling. Apparently, the snake got depressed when he shed. She needed to be home to comfort the snake.

That was a new one – and a story for another time – but she proved to be difficult to lead and reminded me not to be surprised at what people may say or do.

I thought about that question through the years and made a list. These are from my perspective.

7 of the hardest people to lead:

The know it all

It’s difficult to lead someone who won’t listen, because they don’t think they have a need for what you have to say. They think they know more than you and everyone else. In reality that may or may not be true, but it makes them very hard to lead.

I have found at times I have to challenge these people if I’m going to be able to lead them. Sometimes it works. At times it simply doesn’t. 

A gifted leader

Don’t misunderstand this one. I don’t mean they try to be difficult. Someone with lots of prior leadership experience just bring higher expectations for those who try to lead them.

I have had some very successful retired pastors in my churches and on our staff. I love that I’ve served with seasoned people with more experience in ministry than me. But they keep me on my toes! (And this is a good thing.)

Hyper-critical people

When someone is always negative it becomes difficult to lead them. They can zap the motivation from the team. They never have anything positive to add to the team, the glass is always half-empty or the sky is always about to fall. It can be draining.

Again, these are people I will eventually challenge – and hopefully encourage. If this type person is channeled correctly they can actually be valuable on a team. They see holes others don’t see. But they must be willing to be team players when things move forward even against their objections, concerns or fears. 

Wounded people

Wounded people are more resistant to being led well until they heal. They may struggle with trust issues, be reserved with their input or injure others with their words and actions. Hurt people hurt people. 

We have added a number of staff members to our church knowing already they were injured. I actually love this as a Kingdom ministry to give them a place to heal. But knowing where they are currently is key to effectively leading them to a healthier future. I have offered them counseling, giving them clear boundaries (which they often need) and simply say things to them such as, “The sooner you learn to trust again the sooner you can be at your best.”

Insecure people

Those who lack self-confidence are harder to lead. They are hesitant to take a risk. The best leadership involves delegation to people who will assume responsibility for a task. That makes it hard when people have no confidence in their abilities. 

I have learned insecure people will move when they are given specific tasks to complete. They need consistent feedback and assurance, which can be exceptionally time demanding for leaders. But over time it helps them gain confidence to not only follow but lead. 

Overly change-resistant people

Leadership always involve change. Without change there is no need for leadership. So, those who cling so tightly to the past are harder to lead to something new.

There is nothing wrong with tradition or with enjoying the memories of the past. But when someone’s love of their history prevents them from embracing their future it becomes difficult leading them.

I like to try and bring them along by allowing them to celebrate the past. At times, we can rediscover rather than reinvent by building upon the success of the past, rather than simply ignoring it. 

Myself

Without any doubt the hardest person for me to lead has always been me. Truth is I can be guilty of holding others to unrealistic expectations I can’t live up to either.

One way I battle this is to ask myself questions such as, “If I were that person, with their skills and interests, would I feel this is a reasonable expectation?” 

Everyone can be difficult to lead at times and during some seasons. It is what makes leadership fun, right?

To be clear, my goal is not immediately to remove these people from a team. Actually, I think the role of leadership is to learn how to better lead them. The reality is that all of these scenarios and types of people can serve a role. Whether or not they prove to be a good fit for a team might still be a question, but often if handled wisely they can sharpen our skills of leadership and add value to the team. 

On every team I have led I have had a few people that proved to be more difficult to lead. If I can figure out what style of leadership they need and how I can tap into the best of them they have almost always proven to be a good fit in time. If not, I want to make that decision sooner rather than later. 

What type person have you found hardest for you to lead?

Nate and I have launched a new season of the Ron Edmondson Leadership Podcast, so subscribe now. You don’t want to miss the next one.

I have learned there are a few indicators of a weak leader. 

A youth pastor emailed me  frustrated his pastor continually caves into pressures of a few leaders in the church. These individuals are not supportive of the youth ministry, even though it’s the fastest growing area of the church.

The complaint they have? The ministry is costing far more than it brings into the church. Students are coming to the church in growing numbers, but without their parents. Young people don’t usually contribute to the church, so it’s causing an issue with some of the deacons.

The pastor was involved and supportive in the expansion of youth ministries and the church is financially sound, but a few loud objectors consider it an “unprofitable” ministry.

The pastor’s solution? Cut back on the youth ministry expenditures to keep the people happy.

I’d love to tell you this is an isolated issue, but I’ve written about these type situations before. Obviously, I don’t have all the facts, but based on what I do know, it sounds like the pastor is a weak leader.

I hate labeling a pastor weak on anything. Certainly I’ve been weak on many things. Preaching. Shepherding. Staff development. And, yes, leading. You name it – I’ve been weak.

But we have to label the problem before we can hope to find solutions.

Weak leaders are usually easy to spot.

7 indicators of a weak leader:

Runs from conflict.

They avoid it at any cost; usually saying what you want to hear. Weak leaders are passive-aggressive. They cave to the loudest voices and disappear when trouble develops. You’ll never see them in the crowd when there’s a controversy looming. They hide better than they engage when people are upset about something or things aren’t going so well. 

Hides all personal flaws.

Weak leaders have a lot of excuses – and, they often pretend to know it all. They don’t want you to know the “real” them – the them which may be lacking in some area. These leaders will try to make you think they have it together more than they really do – and, you might believe it – for a while. They are often afraid if they appear to be weak (how ironic) you may not respect them – or they might even lose their job. 

(Of course, wise leaders learn to build a team which can bring strength around their weaknesses.)  

Can’t accept criticism.

They don’t take well to correction. Weak leaders pout. They get angry and often even seek revenge. 

Quick to pass blame.

They can never admit a personal mistake. Weak leaders are consummate fault-finders. It’s always someone else’s error. Blame it on the economy, or the culture, or the lack of volunteers. They keep people under their authority by labeling others with the faults of the organization. In fact, according to a weak leader, you probably couldn’t do “it” without them.

Leads by control.

Weak leaders want you to believe they’ve “got this”. They don’t, but it feels better to them than the alternative. Instead, they keep people under their authority, never empower, and seldom delegate, because they are afraid of losing their power position.

Shies away from difficult decisions.

Weak leaders can’t make the hard calls. They can’t lead in a new direction because the opposition will be too strong for them. They stay in the safe zone – sameness is their friend. 

Appeases critics and complainers.

Weak leaders are usually people-pleasers. The louder the complainer the more likely a weak leader will cave to their demands. They don’t want people to be unhappy – especially with them. 

I sound rather harsh towards a weak leader – don’t I? But, as I said, I’ve been – and sometimes can be – that leader. I share this as a check for our own leadership.

We need strong, capable leadership – especially among our people of faith. Let’s lead. Let’s lead well. Let’s “stand firm” and “let nothing move us”. (1 Corinthians 15:58)

Nate and I have launched a new season of the Ron Edmondson Leadership Podcast, so subscribe now. You don’t miss the next one.