I have frequently been asked how to engage introverts on a team in meetings. I guess because I am an introvert, and have written extensively about the subject, people assume I know how. I try to remind them other people are different from me – even other introverts.
Although it is a common perception that all introverts are reserved, constantly quiet, and unsocial, introverts are a diverse group, with varying degrees of introversion. For example, if you give me authority, I’ll lead the meeting with no problem. It is not uncomfortable for me to speak to a crowded room – especially if I’m the scheduled speaker. That would never be comfortable for some introverts.
So, my best advice for leaders about engaging people into meetings would not be to consider the introverts, but to consider everyone different. When it comes to meeting dynamics, everyone has something to add and does so in their own way. It takes me time to understand the team.
Part of my job, if I’m leading a meeting, is to analyze the people in the room, as much as I can, before the meeting begins. If it’s “your” team this is done over time – getting to know the team. If the meeting involves people you don’t know or know well it’s more difficult, but good leaders learn to study people – such as the way they respond before the meeting, when they are introducing themselves, or their posture during the meeting.
But I do understand the introvert question. Many introverts don’t engage in meetings. They keep to themselves, especially in large group settings surrounded by extroverts. They aren’t as easy to get to know. And, yes, I can certainly be that way if I’m not in a leadership position where I have to force myself out of my introversion.
So, here’s my attempt to answer some of the questions about engaging introverts in meetings. Again, we aren’t all alike, even though we share the introvert characteristic, but try a few of these and see if they improve your meeting dynamics.
And, by the way, some of these can help extroverts make better decisions in meeting too.
7 suggestions to help introverts engage more:
Give them time to respond
This is huge. Introverts typically reflect inward, so they respond only after they have thought through their answer. This can actually be a great characteristic if used well, because it usually means their answer has already been tested – at least in their own mind. They are likely to share some of the most valid options on the table if you give the process time to work.
Ask specific questions – ahead of time
Give them a problem, and time to solve it, and most introverts will enjoy the challenge. If you want them to brainstorm effectively, tell them exactly what you are going to brainstorm about prior to beginning.
Let them respond in writing
When I know there are numerous introverts in a group, I will usually find a way to let them put something in writing. If there is a whiteboard in the room that could work. You could let them respond on their own paper and then share later in the meeting. I have even allowed them to text or email me during the meeting. It’s amazing some of the suggestions I’ve received when an introvert doesn’t have to say it aloud.
Don’t put them on the spot
If you call on them for an immediate response you might get an answer, but it won’t necessarily be their best answer. And it will often make them more introverted the rest of the meeting. Many introverts are not huge fans of being singled out to answer a question. They may be better prepared if you ask a question, let people respond who have instant answers (usually the extroverts), then call on the introverts later in the process. And, again, giving the questions ahead of time is an added bonus.
Separate them from the most extroverted
If there are too many extroverts in the group introverts are even more likely to shut down communication. Try putting a group of introverts together, give them plenty of time and thought provoking questions to stimulate conversation, then allow the process to work on their time. Then you can often prepare to be amazed.
Give them an assignment they can control
Many introverts (this one included) can perform to task if we are put in the seat of responsibility. It could be speaking to a group or working the crowd at a banquet, but when it’s purposeful and I have an assigned responsibility, and can control how I do it, I’m more likely to perform like an extrovert. Before the meeting (with as much notice as possible), and if they are willing, give introverts an assignment where they are responsible for sharing.
Express genuine and specific interest in their ideas
All of us, introverts and extroverts alike, love to be respected for our thoughts and ideas. If you want an introvert to share more, remind him or her how valuable they are to the team and how much their thoughts are needed. This is best done before the meeting starts.
By the way, some of these suggestions might help if you lead a Bible study at church also.
As already stated, this isn’t an exact science. We are all different. Knowing introversion, however, as I do, it’s a little easier for me to land on these points. Don’t overlook the introverts on your team as if they have nothing to add to the discussions. They do. They will simply share that information differently. They may not talk as much as some or seem to have as many opinions, but when they do, it will often be golden.
Be mindful of the ‘steamrolling’ extrovert(s) who start talking over the introvert, making them much more likely to pull back or shit down.
Awesome.
I like the idea of allowing introverts to respond in writing. I look forward to trying this with some of my team members. Thanks for the ideas Ron!
Ron, this list is excellent. I can't add to it. There may be another way this list could be applied:
I'm an introvert and I can see myself in the categories represented by each one of these items. However, I have practiced working through introversion to increase my value to a team. They way I have done it follows many of these same points. The following examples match up with your list:
1. Understand you may not be given time to respond and plan to interrupt when needed. It's not comfortable, but if you have something valuable to contribute, you have to do this. Practice one-on-one so you can interrupt tactically where it's important without simply being rude.
2. You don't have to wait for someone to ask something specific from you. If you have the initiative to be a self-starter, ask ahead of time what others need from you and be prepared with that when meeting time rolls around.
3. & 4. If you get blindsided with something you aren't prepared for, acknowledge the value of it and ask for a short time after the meeting to investigate it and get back to the team with an informed response (email is an option here).
5. & 6. Take the initiative to engage team members either one-on-one or in an email "meeting" ahead of time in anticipation of an upcoming meeting. If you generate information to share or a proposal to make, you can write it out, practice saying it ahead of time, or ask a fellow team member to bring it up.
7. The leader may or may not express interest in what you are up to. If you know it's valuable to the goals of the team, plug it anyway. If an insecure leader feels threatened by your initiative and wants to squash your initiative, don't sweat it. You might have what it takes to be a good leader and many poor leaders feel threatened by good leaders on their team. Someone out there is looking for a motivated soul like you. Keep up the good work and look for every opportunity to make the team a success and someone will notice.
Good words fellow Introvert. I see why you write so well 🙂 A thinker!Â
Thank you so much Ron, this post is so refreshing. I suffered with 'social anxiety disorder' for many years in my teens and early twenties. Thankfully, now I am happier in me own skin and totally see that I have many introverted traits.
Keep up the good work!
Steve
p.s. Could I interview you please?
Thanks Steve. Let me know how I can help
Quality post – as I read I started thinking about the lists implications on facilitating a small group discussion. I'd be interested to hear your thoughts..
I definitely think these all apply to small groups. Hopefully in time, especially in closed groups, relationships are built that overcomes some of this…it's more like a family, but even when relationships are close introverts can be overlooked.
Twitter: steveperky
says:
Great list, Ron. I would add that there needs to be some sort of order and respect in the meeting. I have been in too many meetings where several people talk at once, and to be heard they keep talking louder and louder. I like an implied point in your list is to actually have a reason to meet and an agenda.
Great point.
I'm a little bit of both, I guess you could say I'm an ambivert. But while in meetings I'm much more of an introvert.
To add to the list, I'd have to say Don't over look the suggestions of the ones who are the quietest. They won't speak up much or be loud about it but their ideas come some serious weight.
Very good. Thanks.
Resonates 🙂 I would add that just because we are quiet, doesn't mean we aren't extremely passionate about certain subjects. Find out those interests, and you will draw us out, although it still may take time for us to respond. Smaller groups are helpful. Large groups with many people talking just cause me to felt drowned out and overwhelmed.
Thank you. That's good.
Twitter: charlesstone
says:
Ron, super post. Susan Cain wrote a book called Quiet, great book on value of introverts.
Thanks Charles. Just got it. Haven't read it yet