Frustration. Every team has it at some point. If you work on a team long enough, you’re going to get frustrated.
That’s not necessarily a sign you’re on the wrong team. Teams can be frustrating because teams are made up of people.
And people are different.
- Teams are made up of different personalities.
- Everyone process information differently.
- We work at different speeds.
- Our priorities, pressures, strengths, and weaknesses all show up with us.
- We don’t always communicate as clearly as we think we do.
Put enough people together – even really good people who love Jesus and share the same mission – and eventually someone will frustrate someone.
The goal isn’t to eliminate every frustration. That’s impossible.
The goal is to learn how to handle frustration without allowing it to damage the team.
Here are five things that might help –
1. Recognize and Respect Differences
Not everyone thinks, processes, or works like you – and that’s a good thing.
- Some are big-picture dreamers; others are detail guardians. Both are needed.
- Everyone feels misunderstood sometimes. That’s normal.
- We each tend to see our area as most urgent or important. That’s part of caring deeply about what we do.
- Sometimes what frustrates you about someone is the very strength the team needs from them.
Unity doesn’t mean sameness; it means shared purpose.
2. Keep Small Things Small
Don’t turn a 2 into a 10.
- The world – and the church – will never be perfect.
- You’ll never have every tool, answer, resource, or person you want exactly when you want it.
- Not every inconvenience deserves a meeting.
- Not every irritation needs to become an issue.
- Choose which frustrations are worthy of your emotional energy.
Some things need to be addressed. Others simply need to be released.
Peace often comes from lowering unrealistic expectations.
3. Check Your Heart and Motives
Before reacting, ask yourself –
- Am I frustrated because I want to be right – or because I want what’s best?
- Could I be misunderstanding or missing part of the picture?
- Am I making assumptions about someone’s motives?
- Would I respond differently if I knew everything they were carrying right now?
Frustration has a way of convincing us that our perspective is the complete perspective.
Usually it isn’t.
Humility invites perspective; pride multiplies frustration.
4. Practice Humility and Move On
Ephesians 4:2-3 says, “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
That’s good theology. It’s also good teamwork.
- Don’t let small annoyances harden into resentment.
- Be willing to apologize quickly.
- Extend grace generously.
- Don’t keep a running scorecard of offenses.
- Remember, we’re on the same team – and Jesus is the head.
Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do for a team is address something, forgive it, and then refuse to keep bringing it back up.
You can be right and still be wrong in your tone, timing, or attitude.
5. Use Your Voice Wisely
You have a voice. And it’s a needed voice or you wouldn’t be on the team. Use it kindly, honestly, and responsibly.
- Don’t add to the frustration.
- Finish. Do your job. Follow through.
- Say what you mean in love. Don’t say yes when you mean no.
- Don’t complain to five people about something you’ve never discussed with the one person who could actually address it.
- Clarity is kindness; confusion creates tension.
- Speak truth, seasoned with grace.
Healthy teams aren’t teams where nobody disagrees.
They are teams where people have learned how to disagree without becoming disagreeable.
Healthy teams communicate early, clearly, and respectfully.
One Last Thing – Keep the Big Picture in View
This may be the most important one. Remember why we do what we do.
For those of us serving in the church, our purpose is bigger than our department, our preference, our idea, or whether everything happened the way we wanted it to happen.
We are here to reflect Christ and advance the Gospel.
Frustration grows quickly when we make the mission about ourselves.
Sometimes I need to remind myself – This isn’t about me.
- Not my preference.
- Or my recognition.
- Not getting my way.
We are part of something much bigger.
The body of Christ is made up of different parts—with different gifts, personalities, responsibilities, and perspectives—but we share one purpose.
And perhaps one of the greatest witnesses a Christian team can offer is not that we never frustrate one another.
It’s that, even when we do, we choose grace, humility, forgiveness, and unity – and keep moving forward together.
