In a previous post, I shared 7 Reasons the Introvert Is Not Talking in Your Meetings. I committed then to share some suggestions. Read that post first, or this one will be harder to follow.
The fact is we miss out on a lot of valuable input if we don’t hear from the introverts on the team, but hearing from them is more challenging. They are introverted. That basically means they typically internalize their thoughts more than the externalize them. But, in order for them to be helpful you have to hear them. They have to externalize their thoughts.
These aren’t fool proof. Not all introverts are alike, just as not all extroverts are alike. All of us are unique.
But, these might help. If you’re not hearing from some of the introverts on your team, give some of these a try.
Keep in mind, these are coming from an introvert and a leader.
First, from the previous post…
Here were 7 reasons they may not be talking:
- Everyone else keeps talking
- You are rushing the answers
- There are too many people, especially extroverts in the room
- You have them in an uncomfortable seat
- They’ve got nothing to say
- The conversation isn’t going anywhere
- You put them on the spot without warning
Now,
Here are 7 suggestions to get them talking:
First – Give them proper warning before the meeting to get them thinking ahead of time and let them know you’ll be expecting their input. With time to collect their thoughts in advance they’ll be more likely to share.
Second – Give them time after the meeting to reflect and specifically ask for their thoughts. In brainstorming, give them the questions before the meeting that you’ll be discussing. In some circumstances, I’ve even given introverts the freedom to email or text me or someone else during the meeting. (I’ve led a couple meetings where we put a live Google Docs on the screen to add our thoughts. Introverts could type in their response and Google Docs would update. They seemed to share more.)
Third – Divide into smaller groups. Especially during brainstorming meetings or strategy sessions, divide out and then come back together to share. Depending on the size of the group, you could have an introvert serve on their own “team of one” during the breakout time with the assignment to come back and share.
Fourth – Let them choose their seat. Never force introverts to move to the front of the room. You can offer them the seat, but if they want to stand in the back of a crowded room, let them.
Fifth – Don’t make people talk. Don’t call out an introvert or put them on the spot for an immediate answer. Provide opportunities, but don’t force. As mentioned previously, to see if they have thoughts to share, write a question on the board and give some time to process — maybe even let the answers be written.
Sixth – Start meetings on time and with an agenda. If small talk is part of the culture — that’s okay — but give them something to read or focus on until the main meeting starts. And, don’t be upset if they are still working on their phone until the actual meeting starts.
Seventh – Give them a preassigned part in the meeting. Most introverts are not afraid of leading, even speaking in large groups (I do it every week), they just want time to prepare. Then watch them shine.
As I said in the previous post, leaders this means you must know the people you are trying to lead. If you aren’t sure — ask, do assessments, observe, get to know them.
Also, to my fellow introverts, I hear from you. Some of you cringe at the word “brainstorming”. You want a pass from anything that makes you particularly uncomfortable. I’m sorry, I can’t give that as a leader. We all have to do things uncomfortable at times — that includes my extroverted friends. Sometimes they’ll be forced to sit in silent activities on the teams I lead. Brainstorming can be an important part of team-building and idea creation. And, the team needs you. We just need to help leaders — especially extremely extroverted leaders — learn how to get us more involved.
What suggestions do you have?
Suggestion regarding brainstorming: Look at the introverts. If they look like they've got something to say while the storm is happening, call them out — as in, silence the flow of conversation and insert them into it. They'll have most likely thought it through first. Also, let them know they will be given opportunity to speak (but not required to take it), even if they are returning to the subject they were thinking through while the extroverts changed it three times.
Good word. Thank you!
Ron, thanks for sharing about introverts. Being one in a family of extroverts it is helpful to know that I'm not the only one.
You certainly are not
I like all these ideas. Another idea is to have everyone submit responses to key questions in writing prior to the meeting. When I do this, the introverts generally take time to write out a response and generate great ideas. You, as the leader or coordinator, can synthesize responses into meaningful actions or sub-questions that can be discussed at meeting. Also, extroverts would usually rather communicate verbally, putting introverts at a disadvantage. Requesting written responses in advance levels the playing field so everyone has a chance to contribute. Lastly, putting something in writing requires thought, action and deliberate communication. These are all good outcomes that can help move a group from discussion to action. I will add that most people will not like this idea or even follow through with it, but this also gives you the opportunity, as the leader, to use any data you gather prior to the meeting as a focus point. People will quickly see that they are not as influential in the group if they fail to submit their ideas in advance. It holds everyone accountable to their contributions .
Love this. Very intentional.
Twitter: kmac4him
says:
Thank you great wisdom! Suggestions is to see who Jesus teamed together. He sent them out in twos. So part of our discipling of our leaders should be to pair an introvert with an extrovert, because each of these personalities has something vital to teach the other. Send them out in twos, like Jesus did, do things to disciple them, build into our training the concept of “sending them out in twos” and discipling them in twos! Opposites attract, the same way two opposites working for Jesus will attract others to Jesus, showing more of Jesus. An introvert can learn much from an extrovert as an extrovert can learn much from an introvert. Pair them up, it will help your team develop a wholly-holy unity!
Love it!
I would also agree. I have many of the traits of an introvert, and my best friend is a classic extrovert. We do so well in planning and implementing ideas. He generally has an idea or gives voice to an idea, and I've got the thoughts to fill in and flesh it out. I use him as a spokesman, and he uses me on how to actually implement the idea. We also force each other out to adapt to each other. He makes me talk and verbalize what I'm thinking, I make him slow down and think about what he's saying.
We get a lot done.
We just need to remember not to be hurt or offended when we disagree or our styles clash.
Yes
Twitter: kmac4him
says:
Offense is a big, big thing we have to guard our hearts against, it messes with everything and we don't have the "right" to take up an offense when God has forgiven us for soooooooo much! But yes, offense is not a good thing for an introvert to handle and it comes very easy for an extrovert to dish out… we have to guard our hearts.
Yes. Thank you.