Recently I was reposted my parenting model I’ve called “Grace Parenting”. You can read the article HERE.
One of the principles in my model is to Major on the Majors, Not on the Minors and I stated that there are certain non-negotiables I think a parent should enforce in their parenting. A reader commented on the post, asking, “What are the non-negotiables?”
Great question! For my family, these were mostly Biblical characteristics I wanted my boys to possess as adults, things most people would agree are a part of having a good, moral character.
Things such as:
- Honesty
- Respect
- Love
Each of these are what I consider non-negotiable. There is never an appropriate time not to be honest, not to respect, or not to love.
Obviously, you can’t mandate that your children possess these qualities in their heart…you can make them love someone. I believe you can and should address their actions in these areas and they are issues which were handled more strictly in my parenting. I also know you can mandate that children see each of these characteristics modeled for them by the parent.
Those are some of my non-negotiables…though not an exhaustive list…
For this discussion, do you agree with this principle?
What would you add as a non-negotiable characteristic to implement, teach, and even enforce in parenting?
How did you or do you teach these virtues in your home?
Let’s talk parenting!
So, I appreciate the discussion on what the "majors" are; and that list is very similiar in our house. But what about the minors?? It seems that violating the "minors" have become a major thing in our house. One example would be just respecting our home (cleaning up after oneself etc). What are some other examples of minor infractiosn, and what is a say to only minor on them ?
Though I am single, I am sharing from what my parent taught me when I was young:
Apart from your beautiful points, I wish to include the following add-ons as as non-negotiable characteristic to implement, teach, and even enforce in parenting:
— Obedience
— Praying and reading the Word ( of course)
— Good manners (way of greeting, talking, etc)
I would say that "The Essential 55" by Ron Clark is excellent resource on parenting.
You have great parents.
I am not a parent, I just work with Teens in my Church, so consider the source here. I had thought to add Integrity, but I think if they are given what you have listed, they will already achieve this. It is something they need, but it is also something that is a by-product of teaching them Love and Respect, especially respecting themselves.
Good add
Adding to your list:
Generosity
Compassion for others
Knowing and loving God and having a passionate relationship with him that affects their daily lives.
Good adds! Thank you.