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7 Reasons The Introvert Isn’t Talking in Team Meetings

Ever wonder why the introvert on your team isn’t talking?

Occasionally I will hear another leader complain about someone on their team who the leader feels doesn’t contribute as much as others. “She’s too quiet.” “I wish he would speak up more.” “He doesn’t participate as much as some of the others.”

And, sometimes I wonder if the team dynamics allow for them to be heard.

The fact is introverts can be highly creative. They have original ideas. They usually take time to think things through thoroughly, which is a valuable asset to a team. They can lead, take charge, and drive a project to completion.

And, on behalf of my fellow introverts I should say your team needs to hear from them.

If I may be so bold to say chances are, if introverts aren’t sharing, you’re likely missing out and some of the best ideas are not being discovered.

Here are 7 reasons introverts may not be talking:

Everyone else kept talking – Most introverts aren’t going to talk over other people. They’ll wait their turn. If it doesn’t come. They simply won’t share.

You are rushing the answers – You have to give introverts time to process. Introverts take time to find the right words to say. If you press for quick responses, they’ll likely share less. That’s true in brainstorming too, where you’re looking for many responses.

I often receive push back from introverts and leaders about the process of brainstorming and their participation. Brainstorming often involves quick thoughts being shared. But, I don’t think the problem is brainstorming, but rather how we do it. The process is too important not to do it and the collective thoughts are too important to miss anyone. And, fellow introverts, we don’t get an “out” of everything uncomfortable because we are introverts. No one does. We just have to adapt and leaders have to get better at leading everyone, which is the point of this post.

There are too many people, especially extroverts in the room – If there are plenty of “talkers” an introvert will often let others do the talking. Again, they won’t likely interrupt. If introverts are easily outnumbered they are usually silenced. You can sometimes solve this by breaking larger groups into smaller groups.

You have them in an uncomfortable seat – Put an introvert in the awkward front row seat or in the middle of a crowded room and they aren’t going to be as vocal. They won’t likely share if they feel they are being made the center of attention. The set up of the room is a huge part of team dynamics for everyone, but especially introverts. Give them their space, maybe even let them have a corner, but mostly don’t assign seats. Don’t force it – let them choose.

They’ve got nothing to say – And, it could be as simple as that. Perhaps it isn’t their subject. Introverts aren’t as likely to talk about subjects they know less about as an extrovert will. Their words are typically based on thoughts they’ve processed longer, so if it’s a new subject, they may still be processing internally.

The conversation isn’t going anywhere – Introverts aren’t usually fans of small talk or chit chat. If too much time at the beginning of the meeting was about nothing they consider of great importance, then you may have lost their interest. The more you can stick to your agenda the more likely they will be to participate.

You put them on the spot without warning – Introverts are often NOT opposed to making a presentation. (The “not” is capitalized on purpose.) The myth is that introverts are always silent. Not true. And, it’s not that they have nothing to say. They simply want to be prepared before they share what’s on their mind. The more advance notice you give them the better. You might even say, “Tracy, I’m going to ask you to share in just a few minutes about ______” and then come back to them. You’ll get a better answer.

Of course, all of this means you need to understand the team you’re trying to lead. Who are the introverts on your team? And, how introverted are they? What is their ideal setting for being heard? This takes time and practice – and realizing everyone on your team is not the same.

But, everyone on your team has thoughts you need to hear. If not, why are they on the team? Our challenge, as leaders, is to create an environment conducive for hearing from everyone.

By the way, I have a whole chapter on this subject in my book The Mythical Leader.

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Ron Edmondson

Author Ron Edmondson

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Comments (21)

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Great list! Very comprehensive. I would only add one: Please don't brainstorm! Talk about putting us on the spot! You me tioned it a few times, we need time to prepare, brainstorming is not allowing us any time to process any of the information we have heard up to that point.
3 replies · active 571 weeks ago
I hear you but somewhat disagree. I don't think the problem is brainstorming but how we do it. Too important a process not to and too important of collective thoughts to miss anyone. We don't get an "out" of everything uncomfortable becasue we are introverts. Just have to adapt and leaders have to get better at leading everyone. 
I would like to apologize for having waited so long to respond, I don't always get the opportunities I would like. I have to ask, how does one adapt to something like brainstorming? I don't mean to sound condescending, but I don't get it! I also believe that you should reach out and tackle the things that make you uncomfortable. Small talk is another of those annoying things that make me uncomfortable and am incapable of doing! I tried to learn, tried to enlist the help of others in learning! I still cannot do small talk. It seems to me that brainstorming is not something you learn. Or is it?
I think you can learn it. You can certainly adapt to it. Write down the topic. Checkout from the conversation to "introvert". Then come back to the discussion with brilliance.
I somewhat agree with the brainstorming part a bit - I recently was part of a group at which we had a weekend to go over some information and come back with some ideas when we first met - too often it becomes a case of one person - the introvert - coming with all of the ideas and everyone else coming completely empty handed. From there it neither goes into making the introvert the "leader" because they had the ideas (%$&#), or people just throw out ideas on the spot and marginalize what was prepared ahead of time.
1 reply · active 572 weeks ago
It's all about leadership.
Having been married to an introvert for 38 years, I would say if he thinks "it's too much effort", he won't bother!
3 replies · active 572 weeks ago
Interesting. I can see that. Probably some qualifiers there of why there's too much effort and I think good leadership can overcome that. Thanks for sharing.
Very good. Thanks! Actually, that "if I don't think I can win" is also a characteristic of most men (and many women) whether they are introverted or not. Most men will not attempt something if they don't think they can do it. Women seem better at dealing with failure it seems at times. We should learn from them :)
Thanks. I have that book. Good one.
Badri Salih's avatar

Badri Salih · 572 weeks ago

Great article! I am an innie, INTJ on the MBTI, and brainstorming works for me. I agree with the author on his point about collective thought. For me it works only when its with people I trust and know they understand the - project/problem what have you - as I do. I get to super focus on the details and analyze things to death when I am problem solving alone, so other people help me get out of my head and look at the big picture when we bounce ideas off each other. Its a very organic process, and it works :)
3 replies · active 571 weeks ago
Good word. Thank you. 
I, too am INTJ-and I'd agree with the "people I trust" factor completely! At my place of employment, I've been fortunate to have an extroverted leader who is good at developing and advocating for others-and who is always looking for new ideas. She and the others on the management team have taken note of some specific abilities of mine-and have expressed a desire to have me use them for the team's benefit. Because they want what I have to give, they are willing to give me what I need to use these abilities. Thus, I feel more comfortable brainstorming. Plus, I work with many intros, so I don't have to deal with the "talking over others" part of it! Lucky me!
Thanks for sharing. 
I'm an introvert. The 7 points totally describe me!
1 reply · active 571 weeks ago

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