It’s not uncommon I receive a message from a staff member of another church struggling with the current leadership. (And, I’m not naive enough to believe other senior leaders have not received similar emails from our staff at times.) The question is usually how they can continue to be where they don’t support the vision and direction of the pastor. They want my advice on how to responding during this season of ministry.
This situation is obviously not unique to churches, but also happens frequently in other organizations. I don’t believe all hope is lost during times like this. An individual can continue to grow even with a leader he or she cannot respect – sometimes even more.
Here are 7 actions I suggest when you don’t respect the leader:
Talk to God –
That’s seems to be an obvious answer from a pastor, but sometimes it’s the thing we do the least. We complain faster it seems. Or, perhaps that’s just what I do.
Ask God to reveal to you His purposes for your life during this season. It could be He’s preparing you for something, stirring the nest so-to-speak, or you are in a time of testing. Don’t assume God is absent during this time. I assure you He’s not asleep at the wheel and has a plan. The closer you are to Him during this time the sooner you’ll understand His plan and the next steps will be revealed.
Keep working
Most of us need a paycheck. Be grateful while you have one. Unless you know for certain you are to quit, it is destroying you or your family, or you sense something immoral is happening, there’s nothing wrong with working until you find something else. (Provided you do the remainder on this list, as well.)
Do your best
While you are there be above reproach in your work ethic. Make it your aim to prepare for your successor and to leave your area of responsibility better than you found it when you arrived. This keeps you as a person of integrity.
Respect the leader
I know. That’s the tough one. It is actually why I am writing this post, but as long as you’re there you must respect authority. We have this as our Biblical command. You may not respect the leader as a person, but you can respect them as an authority figure and their position.
Again, this is assuming there is nothing immoral taking place. You don’t have to respect those things, nor do you have to turn your head either. There may be other things you need to do or people who need to know. I’m writing in a professional and organizational sense – more about people who you don’t respect stylistically or personally, not illegal or immoral activities.
Watch what you say to others, what you post online, and how you handle your disagreements. Don’t become the sarcastic, negative voice in the room.
Learn all you can
The fact is we learn more during the stressful and difficult times, so be a sponge. You may gain all the wisdom of what not to do when you are in control, but you will learn something if you try.
Be thankful for the connections and experience
You will be gaining connections in the church (work) world – or at least you have or should look for the opportunity. It’s easier to network when you’re in the field than it is once you are no longer working. Be thankful for the opportunity.
Be a cheerleader for life.
You may not enjoy your work setting, but you can still be a positive life influence for those around you. Use your smile and your pleasant disposition as an encourager for others. You’ll feel better about yourself after you eventually leave and you may be just what someone else needs who is feeling as you do. Never burn a bridge with your attitude. That’s a hard stigma to overcome later – and, it’s not who we’ve been called to be as followers of Christ.
Keep watching
Be open to what God will do next in your life. It may not be what you are expecting. Chances are good it will stretch you and require a leap of faith. Prepare your heart, family and attitude for an opportunity when it arrives.
Keep this in mind. I firmly believe we are called to a person – Jesus – more than any location. Even any other leader. At the end of the day, you’re biggest concern is to be faithful to your call to Jesus.
Have you ever been in this position? What happened?
What advice would you give?
Wow, went down the list looking for help because I’m totally there.
Thankful I’m right on track with you. Even though it gets harder every week and people are leaving who I love and care a great deal about. For over three years the pain and suffering has been beyond human ability to bear. God is my strength. I will like to say in your pain become an encourager, to these people who you love and care about without attacking your leader, also encourage leaders who you respect outside your church. I pray every Saturday night for a growing list of men who are doing God’s work well. Then I text them a short note of encouragement and let them know I’m praying for them and I appreciate their ministry. I don’t ask for a reply or anything in return some of these men in just pass at the hospital or at ministry meetings but I am lead by the Spirit to pray for them so I add them to my list. You will be surprised the comfort God will give to you .
Good word. Thanks for sharing.
Wow, went down the list looking for help because I’m totally there.
Thankful I’m right on track with you. Even though it gets harder every week and people are leaving who I love and care a great deal about. For over three years the pain and suffering has been beyond human ability to bear. God is my strength. I will like to say in your pain become an encourager, to these people who you love and care about without attacking your leader, also encourage leaders who you respect outside your church. I pray every Saturday night for a growing list of men who are doing God’s work well. Then I text them a short note of encouragement and let them know I’m praying for them and I appreciate their ministry. I don’t ask for a reply or anything in return some of these men in just pass at the hospital or at ministry meetings but I am lead by the Spirit to pray for them so I add them to my list. You will be surprised the comfort God will give to you .
Twitter: johnmarkharris
says:
And understand who’s your real “boss” Col 3:23
Ron,
I too found myself in a position of disagreeing with the leadership and lack of vision. Spent months in prayer and seeking God's direction. I finally resigned my job and have spent the past nine months volunteering at a church 200 miles from my home – because I believe God wanted to use me there! Waiting on Him takes on a whole new meaning!
Thanks for commenting. Walking with God is a journey not a destination.
Wow. I am in that “stuck” position right now! Thanks for reminding me of the obvious. “talk to G-d” duh me! Been talking to people and honestly my prayers have just been “please help me get through tonight” and not the bigger picture
Great story and personal illustration. Thank you!
You must be reading my email(LOL)! I am going through this right now. I know of black and white – clear cut embezzlement but know one is willing to do anything about it! And the offender has said, "you are right, now what are you going to do about it?".
I have to feed my family but I can't turn a blind eye on sin. But God gave me strength through His word in Eccl 10:4 If the ruler's temper rises against you, don't abandon your position, because composure allays great offenses.
Ha! Not reading your emails, but I have heard this story before. This is tough and would be very difficult for me to live with long.
I was in this very situation only a year ago. It seemed the more I prayed about it the more I felt I needed to stay right where I was. I continued to work, did the best I could in the circumstances I had and waited. It seemed God was doing nothing! I prayed to defend myself. Absolutely not! I prayed to try to present the Gospel to my superior, again, NO! Not making any sense at all, I enlisted the help of friends and they said they didn't want to get involved. That seemed odd! I go back to God again; The impression I got was the more I tried to do anything except the job God put me there to do, there would be too many cooks in the kitchen! That was the chief mistake I was making; "I" was doing all "I" could, not allowing Him to work. When "I" got out of the way, my boss was transferred and I got back to doing the job I enjoyed!
I wish I had heard some of this early in my ministry. I lost confidence in the senior leader and struggled for 3 years until the door opened to leave. I grew a lot during that time. Some days it was all I could do to put on the game face. I had a few confidants who were there for me and encouraged me as I pressed on. I feel that now my ministry is better for the hardship I endured early.
We always grow through the hard times.
— Have a larger perspective than immediate trouble to see the larger good in life
— Hang on hanging on
— Take heart – there will be calm after storm
— Remember the words of ‘Charles Rozell Swindoll’
“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our attitudes.”
These are good Uma.
One of my favorite quotes and one I try, every day, to live by. Easier some days than others but what a victory when you keep that 'tude in check on the bad days! 🙂
I like it.
My simple advice would be to trust God and follow His peace.
In any and every situation, Romans 8:28 still applies: everything will be used for our good and ultimately for His glory. We must be faithful to Him, even during times of testing and trials and maybe even persecution, be it from co-workers, our bosses, or Satan himself.
…or maybe God is using this situation to open other doors. Sometimes, we have to make hard decisions in order to step out in faith of what He has planned for us. In either situation, it's important to trust God and to follow His peace in any and every situation.
Thanks Nikki.
I'm in this situation now, I would only add – keep knocking on doors if he knows he should leave. Some doors (like automatic doors) won't open until you are right in front of them.
Good add.
Twitter: rwren
says:
I was in this very situation 2 years ago. I asked the same questions. Advice from someone much wiser was to lay the cards out on the table. I told the pastor I worked for where I stood (where he and I differed) and he basically gave me two weeks. It was abrupt but liberating.
Sometimes it's those type experiences that shape our character for life.
You know that’s so true Ron. How many times In scripture were Gods people in captivity under the rule of an unrighteous leader… Yet in their praise to God and patience God always led them to freedom. Life is an attitude. Lets praise god during the hard times
God works well in hard times….
Thanks for the post Ron. Good stuff. It’s a tough place to be in a place when you don’t agree with the leadership or mission/vision.
Great encouragement. Love the ‘your called to Christ, not a location’!
Thanks Rob
BTDT… this is good advice if you have not been released. If you make your displeasure (confessed confusion) about these issues known to the leader (and leadership) maybe he (they) can help you work through it and come to agree. Maybe he can see things your way and come to a consensus.
If not, agree to disagree and keep working for His good. In my situation, once I made it known that I was confused about the vision and direction of the new leader our 'working on it' made him see my point of view and I came to understand his. This and some concerted prayer helped us workthrough the situation and the body and our relationship was better for it .
I also had the situation where my 'confusion' with their vision and direction was labelled 'treasonous sedition,' was flayed alive in the consensus meeting and thrown to the wolves. Unfortunately for them, my questions and observations won over the Alpha of the pack and the leadershipy were gone within 30 days.
Thanks. Good thoughts.