10 Thank You’s to My Pastor’s Wife

This post is written to my wife.

It could be to anyone married to a pastor. It’s hard work.

In fact, I’ve said this before, but the spouse of the pastor may be the most difficult job in the church at times.

But, this one is to my wife. (You’re welcome to read along.)

I’ve also said this before – I have the perfect pastor’s wife. Younger pastor’s wives, if you want to learn how to do it, I’d submit my wife as an example.

In mid 2012, we ventured out – again – this time into church revitalization. Church planting was hard – God allowed us to be part of 2 plants – and this would prove to be our toughest assignment. And, there have been many in our years together. Some days, especially early when change seemed rapid, Cheryl came home in tears many Sundays because people took the emotions of change out on her instead of me. (I’ve never understood that cowardly move, but it happens.)

Yet, God’s been faithful and Cheryl has been faithful. And, for the overwhelming portion of people the church has been faithful. I couldn’t have done what I’ve been called to do without all of them.

But, second only to God, Cheryl deserves my applauds. Not that she’d ever expect it. That’s one of the reasons she’s so great – she just faithfully loves and serves others – but because it’s right for me to honor her. And, I have this public opportunity, so here goes. 

Cheryl, here are 10 “Thank you’s” to the pastor’s wife:

Thank you for following me where God leads me – without complaining, or resisting, or refusing to move even though life was very comfortable where we were and the future looked very uncertain where we were going. Truth is, you are usually ready to walk by faith before I am. What a blessing!

Thank you keeping confidences. Thank you for biting your tongue when someone complains or criticizes unjustly. Thank you for knowing more “junk” than most people should, and never sharing it with anyone, yet being my closest confidant.

Thank you for being my biggest encouragement and never making the church wonder where your support is. Even when the message stinks, you pretend it is wonderful! Even if you think I’m doing wrong your message to others is one of support.

Thank you being a safe place to share – even letting me blow off steam at times. Ministry is hard. I’m glad my wife has big shoulders upon which to cry at times and an incredible faith to point me back where I belong. And, guts to tell me when I’m wrong.

Thank you for believing in me – even when no one else does. You were with God and had me in ministry long before I could see what God was doing. You still believe I can do things of which I’m not so confident.

Thank you for knowing me best yet loving me most. Okay, contrary to public opinion – you know I’m not perfect. Far from it. Yet, your love is always undeniable. I’m always amazed how you’d rather spend time with me than anyone. I know people in your life far more “fun” than me.

Thank you for putting our marriage before any human relationship. At times, that has meant you had to say no to others so you could say yes to me. Thank you for the sacrifice. Thanks for helping build a marriage and family life the church can easily follow.

Thank you for loving people and Jesus so passionately. The church knows it. Everyone knows it. You fully reflect that in all that you do!

Thank you for being a protection for me. You sense things in people and ministry, which I can’t sense. This is why I have you help me interview people. It’s why you have protected me from people who don’t have my best interest at heart. I feel safer with you around.

Thank you for respecting me unconditionally. You understand the frailty of a man’s ego and know it’s my greatest need. And, you fill it completely and consistently.

Thank you for being my pastor’s wife.

Give a shout out to your pastor or minister’s wife/spouse here!

Better yet, also send her/him a card!

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Ron Edmondson

Author Ron Edmondson

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Join the discussion 16 Comments

  • Mark says:

    Thanks for sharing this, Ron. Most of these apply to every man regardless of profession, and the support needed from a godly wife. This can only happen when both spouses submit to each other and when men love their wife as Christ loves the church.

  • Jean says:

    I realize that I came on strong, but that's how intense my love and devotion for my gender is and how hurt I am by the doctrines of male supporting websites, that write at the expense and detriment of wives. From my view there is so much hatred and disdain for females on the Internet. Also, I don't know your wife, but it breaks my heart to see or hear any woman accept her husband writing lists to lecture and blame wives. I don't own my spouse and he doesn't own me, but I certainly would not accept or agree with him telling wives that they hurt husbands unless he is truthful and also admits that husbands also hurt wives.
    Wives do not have to accept doctrines of men, only God. People deeply hurt females when theyslant towards males, in this world of rape, wife beating, denial of female health care, female genital mutilation, porn where the female is so dogged out, adultery and cheating, and guess who is at the helm of these situations? Not females, that's for sure.
    Your personality or character analysis statement about me being wounded, is such a typical cliche from men to women. who speak up for the truth. I am not wounded and most brave women like myself aren't wounded, just courageous and strong, as a matter of fact Ron. I am loved by my family and my friends and have a God fearing man who is a real man, who talks the talk and walks the walk, who loves me and his family and shows it daily and I to him. A while back, I asked him to read here and give me his opinion. The reaction was that articles about marriage seem to always lay blame on the wife and that articles should be written to show what husbands do to hurt and break their wives.
    So now, Ron, I bow out and leave your site, but will continue to seek places that respect wives as much as they do to husbands. You may have heard wise people say, be careful who you ask and let pray for you, as some people are not of God. There are so many not so good forces in this world, so since I do not know you, I would ask that you save your prayers only for those who you have favor towards and who you wish well and for your "perfect and blameless", male gender.
    Please do not reply to me.

    • ronedmondson says:

      And you seem to miss the companion post I did on how husbands injure wives or all the other posts I do – the majority – aimed towards the male needs to improve. And, I do wish you the best – as I do everyone. We are even to love our enemies as I read my Bible – and I don't think you are that. My gender isn't perfect or blameless, nor am I, nor your gender, nor you. Finally, my wife has read all my posts as well, including this one. She's not offended. She's my biggest fan – as I am hers. 

  • ronedmondson says:

    I've allowed your constant thread on another post, I'm not sure I will here. You don't know me or my wife. And, while I agree with your right to an opinion, your tone is mostly hurtful, not helpful. I'm not agitating, this is my blog and I don't choose for it to be a place to argue, but you sound in print as a wounded person. I'm praying for you now. 

  • Jean says:

    I am I concerned about you saying to your wife, thank you for respecting you unconditionally to the point that she accepts your ego, saying it is man's greatest need. Is this really a man's greatest need? Isnt having a swollen ego a sin? Would God want us to have that ego? If you think that it is okay for a male human, who is only a human, to be that way, is it fair for you to think only the male human, should have an ego ?? Scary doctrine ….,,

  • Ken Cooney says:

    Pastor thank you for sharing your 10 thank you's to Cheryl. I pray for you both each and everyday. I pray that God will bless you both as you display great leadership in leading Immanuel Baptist Church to new heights for our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

  • William Strickland says:

    Good job. Thanks for sharing with the rest of us.

  • Phyllis says:

    Am sure everything you have said is true and and has been proved with graceful love. This is a list everyman should be graced enough to say about his wife and vice versa. We really have a lot to live up to. So happy God saw fit to put you two together with his love and assurance. May it always be.

  • Jon says:

    You could not have said it better. Those are all the things that I pray every day that my wife would be and do for me. You are truly blessed.

  • Melissa says:

    What a very heartfelt letter….thanks Cheryl. Without you, we wouldn't know and trust in Ron as many do.

    Yall' have a restful weekend…. I know that might be difficult with the move ahead, but sit back and sip on some lemonade : ) Enjoy!

  • Cheryl says:

    Thank YOU for living your life in a way that makes my job easy!! So very proud of you & all God is doing in & through your life. Remember-where you go-I go!! Next chapter in our abundant life-here we come!! Love you Babe!!!

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