I believe preparation is one of the best preventions for marriage failure. It’s the reason Cheryl and I committed much of our early years in ministry to premarital counseling.
If a couple knows the natural struggles most marriages experience, they are less likely to throw in the towel when their marriage encounters these problems and hopefully be more willing to look for help. They won’t be as surprised when struggles come to the marriage.
In my experience, there are a few leading causes of marriage failure. Interestingly, this same list is often what keeps us from having great marriages.
The leading causes of marriage failure (in my experience) are:
Boredom – Couples stop dreaming, learning, and exploring together. Often the busyness of life distracts them from simply having fun together.
Communication – Not understanding the difference in men and women and the different ways each communicate causes conflict and misunderstandings, which can bring huge wedges in the relationship.
Money – We all need money to survive. When a couple, or one in the couple, is on a pursuit for more it often drives couples to stress out over money, or the lack thereof. Money is also a major cause of arguments, especially when the couple has no plan for how to spend the money they make.
Outside influences – Whether it is work, hobbies, friends, in-laws or even children, couples often allow something or someone to come between them and distract them from each other. The marriage takes a backseat to other influences.
Tragedy – It is difficult for the best marriages to recover from a tragedy, but especially marriages that are already experiencing difficulties.
There are certainly other reasons marriages fail, but when the trail of the marriage that is breaking apart is traced it will many times lead back to one of these major causes.
If you sense your marriage is in jeopardy or if one of these issues is currently bringing stress into your marriage, do not wait until one spouse is ready to quit to do something about it. Get help now. Protect your marriage.
If you want some early warning signs for when it’s time to invest in your marriage, read THIS POST.
For more posts about marriage, go HERE.
I think these are significant. But they seem secondary. I’d list selfishness, inability to extend and receive forgiveness, inability to extend grace, not wanting the best for your spouse, and pride that hinders a teachable heart.
Those are good. Certainly “root” causes. Harder to self-identify, but I'd agree with you.
Its pleasure to read your post 🙂
This is very good struggling my own right now!
Praying for you.