I did men’s ministry for many years before I went into vocational ministry. Recently I felt led to address the young men in our church. One Saturday morning, I invited men aged 35 and under to join me as I shared some thoughts with them. Basically I said to them what I wish had been said to me at that age. The response from the guys who attended has been amazing. They want more.
In the process of planning and praying for this event, God did something to my heart. I’m still processing all that means, but I know it involves being more intentional addressing concerns I see as a need for more godly men to lead in their homes, communities and churches.
This week I received this email. (Some details are omitted to protect the identity, although this email is one of dozens like it I receive each year.)
Hi, my wife and I attend your church regularly. My wife feels like I need to be more of a spiritual leader. I wanted to get your advice on what I should do as a husband to be more of a spiritual leader in my marriage and what it looks like. Thank you for your time.
Pastor, how would you answer that question?
God is placing a huge passion and burden on my heart for men, specifically young men who desire to be godly, but aren’t sure where to start. I’ve seldom met a man who didn’t want to do the right things, but I’ve met many who didn’t know how to get there. Mentoring and discipleship resources for men are rare compared to what’s available for women.
In the coming weeks and months, I’m going to spend more time addressing this issue here and in other venues. I’m even praying about a bigger opportunity to address this need. I don’t know what’s next completely, but I know when I stand before my God I want to have been faithful to His call.
Am I on the right track? Help me process this need and opportunity.
Men, be honest, do you need some help in this area of your life? Are you struggling in your roles as a man?
Women, what about your take on this issue? Do men need help learning to be godly men?
What are the best resources right now addressing this issue?
I’d love your input as it helps confirm and fuel my heart and thoughts.
Good on you Brother for focussing on Men’s Ministries. This type of ministry has been my ‘heartbeat’ for some years now.
God Bless You … Derek.
I believe men need to be mentored into a leader. Unfortunately there are less and less men out there that are leaders or willing to mentor a young man. Now that there are more single families, and a good majority are still moms raising kids, how do you raise a leader out of that?
i have personally encountered a dating situation(over two years) where the man insists it's fine for us to live together and have sexual relations because we "love" each other. I told him that's not love it's lust. He responds with, "God knows we love each other". I know this individual was raised in an adulterous home. Though he was elementary age when his father was taking these actions, he believes there has been no effect on him of these actions "because" his parents were born again by his age of 12. Hum. Stands to wonder
I've been GREATLY helped by Men's Fraternity by Dr. Robert Lewis. I wish I would have been exposed to the things he shared BEFORE I got married. I'm glad you'll be talking more about issues relating to young me. Thanks!
I love that resource!
Twitter: bobbalkcom
says:
We've done Men's Fraternity for a number of years as well. Great resource that speaks right where most men are at any stage of their lives. We've had young married guys all the way up to retired guys (who always say "I would have like to have done something like this earlier in life")
Thanks, Ron, for your heart as well!
Twitter: Glengaugh
says:
I'm with you, Ron. I enjoy reading your blog, but this post really conveyed the burden that I know is in your heart more than any others I've read. I have a huge burden for fathers and have been developing how to pursue that burden for at least 6 months now; I'm at least another 2 months away from beginning a group for fathers at my local church (a church that my family just joined that has been in decline for years; we are serving as outreach directors.) I hope and believe that more are going to catch the burden to minister to men of all ages, especially young men who will be the fathers and leaders of the future.
Glen Gaugh, @glengaugh on Twitter and glengaugh.wordpress.com
Thank you for the confirmation!
Ron, I have written a resource called "30 Days to a Becoming a More godly Man." It was just published a couple of months ago and I used the resource to lead a class for the men in our church. I would love to send you a copy for you to look at if you will send me an address. You can email me @ [email protected]. Thanks & hope to hear from you! Randy
I would love it. You can send it to Ron Edmondson, Grace Community Church, 1716 Memorial Dr, Clarksville, TN 37043
Twitter: ericspeir
says:
I think if there is one place in the church that is suffering right now it is the men's ministry. I help lead a ministry college and am shocked at how some of the young men enter college. Most of them have never been taught how to be a man or what a spiritual man does. We live in such a fatherless society that it's no wonder that many young men are missing the mark. It hasn't been modeled well to them at all. I see the emasculation of men as being one of the places in society that is hurting. We definitely need to step up our game in this area.
Twitter: mrsmilton0304
says:
Eric I agree totally. With single parenting taking over as the norm it's hard for kids to understand the roles. Single moms and dads work themselves to death both at work and at home. Each tries to fill a role they aren't equipped to do. It's tough work and it's confusing for everyone.
Thanks for the confirmation Eric!
Twitter: mrsmilton0304
says:
Con't…It takes time and work for a marriage to ebb and flow. Now days we work ourselves 12-18 hours a day (in and out of the home). Where do we allow the time to nurture ANY relationship? Does your husband have friends, mentors, someone to confide in when he feels spiritually wasted? Wives may be soulmates, lovers, BFF's but there are some things we can't do. Men do not want to be weak in front of us…not heart wrenching, crying out to God, what do I do weak. They need their outlet. Yes prayer is an outlet. But not tangible. Bottom line, men need accountability and validation as spiritual leaders as much as we need to know we are good wives. My spiritual platform is nurturing women because I see a need that overwhelms me. But I feel the urgency and the aura of discontent with families, specifically men and that they (as a whole) feel lost in a kind of what now frame of mind. But I am not equipped nor called to mentor men…somone else is. Listen to Him who speaks through men around you. My brothers, you will find strength in Jesus who is after all the first bridegroom.
Twitter: mrsmilton0304
says:
First, as your sister in Christ: God is always stirring heart at just the right moment so I am encouraged by your obedience.
Now, as a wife of a pastor of all trades…tongue in cheek gets me in trouble w/Larry but he is always going to have that heart. Yes men need more help being spiritual leaders(S.L.). Your question to women said godly men but to say someone isn't godly enough is me talking to a mirror. I can say from my own experiences that it's easy for men to say they are the S.L. but they have a challenge incorporating it into the family relationships. We all know what the bible (Eph 5) says…women submit yourselves to your own husband as you would do to the Lord and husbands love your wives like Christ loves the church. But who has the harder job? Without a doubt men do. Cmon ladies, there isn't one thing I can do for anyone that would compare to Christ's love for me. Nothing. Now, my husband is commanded to love me THAT MUCH. And I am no walk in the park. Con't…
Thanks Theresa. You are a great encourager.
Twitter: bobbalkcom
says:
In my community there’s a once a week forum called Men Step Up where men gather early for an hour or so to unpack the lies the we live with by pointing us back to the Word. The underlying ministry behind it is Jesus Spoken Here Ministries, a discipleship/mentoring ministry that is multifaceted.
The weekly meetings are rich. Guys sit at tables of four. A lie is the focus of the presenters opening discussion and a verse or verses are presented that wipes that lie out. All is on a card that each guy has at the table.
As an example, todays lie was “A totally surrendered life is not possible”. The discussion centered around confidence and where we plce it. The verses were Jeremiah 17:5-8.
There’s lots more but when I read your post I thought, man, there are tons of programs and some will dive into that and some won’t. But MSU is weekly and it builds. We have around 40 guys there every Friday morning. Lots of relationship.
Thanks Bob for sharing. Sounds like a great resource.
I wouldn't even know where to begin. I think it starts with prayer. More intimate prayer. Being both yourself and with your spouse.
I recently wrote a blog post of 3 Things I've Learned About Being the Leader of my Family. http://chriscornwell.org/2011/06/are-you-leading-…
At 30, I don't pretend to try and give people advice about how to be a better husband and father. My wife and I are going through some pretty big decisions right now and I know now, more than ever, we are being dependent on Christ being front and center and it feels pretty good.
I would expect that many men desire to be a strong spiritual leader in the home. After we got married my wife and I did devotions together cosistantly. Then our first child was born. All of a sudden the schedule for devotions that we had was turned upside down. In reality we haven’t gotten back to it. Add second child even harder. Time management and scheduling becomes more difficult but I know doing devotions together is something that would be good for us.
Thanks Gord.
Hey Mr. Ron,
A great resource I have found, that I'm currently readi g now, is "Unleashing Courageous Faith" by Paul Coughlin. Here's an amazon link to it: http://amzn.to/mP3cKw
Here's what the inside flap says: Discover and Exercise Your Masculine Faith Paul Coughlin is a guy with a strong message for other guys. He unflinchingly calls men to lay claim to thumos, a source of God-given strength that's already in you. He explores the many facets of thumos, including where you find it, what kills it, what fuels it, its dark side, how to use it for good, and much more. "Most of us will never fight a physical battle against an enemy; we will use our thumos–or not–for moral courage and to create a more muscular, manly form of love: that practical, unsentimental, no-strings-attached, kingly, prophetic, forceful love that lays down its life for another without fanfare–the kind that makes nations weep, faith grow, and God be glorified." If you're ready to reach for a higher level of true masculinity, read on. You'll find practical help and information in the author's signature style, packed with illustrations from his life and from the lives of admirable men.
It's been an eye opening read for me, and definitely a book my son and I will read together when he is older.
Thanks Lance. I'm not familiar with that book, but I'll check it out.