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If a Wife Wants to Encourage a Husband

By February 12, 2011Encouragement, Marriage

I keep this note, attached to this picture, on my desk at the office. When I look at it, I’m inspired to dream bigger dreams, work harder, make better choices, and press on throughout all difficulties.

Ladies, we are pretty simple as men….seriously…we are…if you want us to soar, tell us you are proud of us. Tell us you believe in us! Tell us we are great at what we do!

That’s about all it takes!

Men, do you agree?

Read similar encouragement HERE and HERE.

(Usually this kind of post will also prompt women to ask…where is our post?  I understand…I wish I was equally as equipped at speaking for the women’s point of view… 🙂  Feel free to add that point of view in the comments!)

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Ron Edmondson

Author Ron Edmondson

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Join the discussion 22 Comments

  • Wave says:

    Good point. Had an ex girl friend who dis not believe in me. worst relationship I ever been in.

  • I was reading couple of days ago ephesians 5:33, were wives are asked to respect the husbands. its encourage part of this respect ? whta other thinks we could include in a list when husbands ask for respect ? Bible ask us as men, that we should love our wives as our own bodies, this is a really open wide request that include a lot of things. Also, I think that when bible talk about respect, this little world include a big list of tasks on it. how we can know them ?

  • Jon says:

    Yes, Yes Yes. Did I mention Yes?

    Even though I love my wife unconditionally and try and show that to her every day and even though I would give my life to protect her, if she would write me a note like that, she'd get even more. And the fact that she doesn't sometimes leaves me empty. In the past when I'd bring this up, that it would be nice to know that something I did for her, someway in which I went above and beyond really meant something to her, she'd always reply that she thought it sad that I expected kudos for every little thing that I did – wasn't I just supposed to do those things. And she totally didn't get it, not sure she still does. I wasn't looking for a pat on the back for doing the dishes or taking care of the kids. But once in a while, especially when I had really gone above and beyond, it would have been nice to get a note like yours or just a whisper in the ear; an encouragement. And it's not that she's never done that. I found a note a few months back that she'd given me years ago, similar to what Cheryl gave you; I still pull it out and read it once in a while; it still has so much meaning, especially since she's lost her way in our marriage for the moment.

    And, as others have pointed out, there needs to be actions to back up the words, but the words can be so much more meaningful to a man than I think most women realize. And it doesn't have to just be words, it can be buying him a special item that you know he likes, just because. Or taking a walk with him and holding his hand, or giving him a shoulder rub after shoveling snow for 2 hours.

    I agree with bfpower, Dr. E's book is an excellent blueprint for this.

    • ronedmondson says:

      Thanks Jon

    • Mike says:

      I found this post as I just Googled "why am i so concerned with what my spouse thinks of me?" because I find myself overly concerned with her apparent negative opinion of me. It taints virtually every area of my life and is very difficult to be mindful of and overcome. I'm aware of a concern that everyone shares her opinion although there is absolutely no evidence of that; in fact most seems to the contrary. Then I am caught in a sort of "imposter syndrome" mindset because of the seeming contradiction between what she thinks and communicates and the message I get from virtually everyone else.

      I once mentioned to her that she rarely says anything positive or encouraging. She replied "I'm not you f'ing cheerleader Mike!"

      I really sort of "knew better" when I tried having that conversation. I really know that I decided not to do it again. I am a considerably strong person. I have not in my life been overly concerned what other people think of me. This relationship has tested my fortitude.

      We've been married 17 years. I cant remember the last time I felt wanted.

      • ronedmondson says:

        That’s tough. I see your dilemma. I would struggle with this too. Praying for you.

  • bfpower says:

    As Joe pointed out, WORDS may not work for everyone. But the fact remains that respect makes the man's world go round. In the context of marriage, I like Dr. Eggerichs's approach; it has worked well for us.

  • Joe Sewell

    I have to disagree ever so slightly, Ron. The words don't do it for me. I need to see it acted out. Much of the reason for that comes from growing up in an environment where the "first and greatest commandment" was "thou shalt not hurt another's feelings." That allowed for "little white lies" (which, for the reader who may not know it, are neither little nor white, but big, fat, stinking, sinful L-I-E-S that erode trust!) and saying "what you're supposed to say." My head knows my wife doesn't intentionally lie. My head knows that she is proud of me. When I see her do something I strongly suggested she not do, though, my heart finds it difficult to believe.

    Let me remind everybody of Gary Chapman's famous book, The Five Love Languages. Words are one way people can express love, but not all of us feel loved with words alone.

  • Ron! I am not sure since I am single currently. Thanks

  • Tara Wallace says:

    Life can get so busy sometimes one forgets to express appreciation and gratitude. Thank you Ron for reminding me to slow down and take a second to let my husband know I am his #1 Fan and that I will love and support him no matter what life throws at us.

  • dustinuga says:

    I certainly agree – no matter how big or how small, an encouraging note/word goes a looooonnnggg way!

  • Cheryl says:

    Babe-thank you for living your life in such a way that I can truly mean what I wrote on this note every day!! You are an amazing husband, father, pastor & friend…you are my gift from God and I am proud to stand beside you!!!

    Proud to be Mrs Ron Edmondson!!!

    (Always your #1 Fan)

  • @Juanbg says:

    Definetely the best motivator in the world – my best friend, partner, my everything – my wife!