I am tired of watching marriages fall apart. One thing that breaks my heart is when two wonderful people allow temptation to overtake them and fall into sin, such as adultery or pornography. I wish I could say it was rare, but it happens every day. I have seen and believe that marriages can be fully restored from these times and even become model marriages after them, but the goal should be to keep either spouse from reaching this point.
While this is not a fool proof answer, one of the leading struggles I know of for men and women is when there is no one is involved or interested enough in their private affairs to challenge them as he or she starts to stray. Most affairs, for example, don’t start in one day. They occur over time as a person’s guard is let down and they ease into the temptations that exist for all of us.
Here’s the bottom line of this post:
Men need to be accountable to a few other men and women need to be accountable to a few other women. They need someone with the freedom to speak truth into his or her life and challenge them in love when there are concerns. As much as my wife tries and desires to understand me, she’ll never fully understand the heart and mind of a man; just as I will never fully understand her heart and mind. This is true of every marriage. (It’s also why more women responded negatively to THIS POST about how I protect my marriage.)
I have often heard it theorized that King David may have never given into the temptation with Bathsheba if he had still had the close relationship with Jonathan in his life. I don’t know if that’s true, but it certainly would not have hurt.
Men and women that don’t see this as an issue are only fooling themselves. Quit playing games with your marriage and pretending you are stronger than you are. “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man.” (1 Corinthians 10:13)
Do you have accountability built into your life? If not, do you dismiss the need, are you afraid to invite it, or have you not found the person to hold you accountable?