I am thankful for the women that bring their families to church every Sunday alone, because their husbands will not come. I know that many of these women have one great prayer request; that their husband will become a believer and/or assume the role of spiritual leadership in the home. Having walked through this with many families over the years, I would like to share some suggestions of things I have seen that work for wives in helping to win their husband to Christ.
Here are four ways to help win your husband to Christ:
Prayer – Ultimately, your husband needs the encouragement of the Holy Spirit, even more than your encouragement. In the end, Christ will save him, not you. He is personally accountable to God. Bathe him in prayer daily, knowing that God loves him beyond what you can imagine.
Example – Model Christ’s love for him. Let him see true Christianity first in you. (1 Peter 3:1-2)
Gentle encouragement – Look for moments where he is open to talk about spiritual things, such as times of crisis, health situations, times when he needs or asks for prayer, etc. At those moments when he is open, share truth with him in love as much as he is willing to receive, even invite him to church, but back off when he begins to resist again.
Respect – If he senses you do not, he will usually respond opposite of your desired result.
These are my best suggestions. I have never seen begging, manipulation or even asking the pastor to “drop in on” the husband work effectively. Certainly, God can and does use other people, situations and circumstances of life to draw a man to Him, but those are hardly ever forced happenings. As for the wife’s specific role in this process, these four are where I have seen the most results.
Watching the desire of a wife and mother wrestle through this issue is one of the most difficult parts of ministry for me, but I am so encouraged to have seen hundreds of men others had given up on come to know Christ as a personal savior and many of those are now actively serving in our church. I know it is totally possible and no man is without hope.
How when husband is still committing adultery? I am still in the marriage . I have a son who is going 17 . He used to go to church but cos he was bullied in church . How/ what should / could I do besides trusting God ?
thank u so much for this advice, as I read it I could see the areas that i was guilty. I also read the husbands side and it is all very true for both. both my husband and I really need to work on this together. I feel that God led me to this and I really needed to see it. I will be sharing this with him, and discussing both sides, please pray for us that this will give us a fresh start.
Yes. Absolutely.
I read your piece on wives injuring their husbands and I needed that so much. Thank you for Godly wisdom.
Thank you.
The Bible says in 1 Peter 3:1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word may be won by the conduct of their wives. This is our everyday conversation,
our conduct, our life style. My husband was in church….I didn't know for the next 20 years that I would live this scripture. I brought his picture for 20 years and sat him right next to me. I thought if he doesn't want to come I'll bring him by faith. I tease him often telling him that he got sat on several times. My husband has been in church serving for the last 7 years. If anyone would have told me that I would be fighting for my husband for 20 years, I would have said no Lord it's to much. But, because of my fight I have several ladies groups and a heart to see husbands come in unity with their wives. He is faithful and works the word in us and thru us.
That's a great testimony. Thank you
I pray for my husband at least once daily if not multiple times. I'm working on the respect part which is hard as he doesn't know what he finds respectful (at least as of about 3-4 yrs ago) and claims that no one can know what they find loving/respectful. It's hard to model Christ since we are separated, but I'm sure there's options that might relate back to the respect part. And I have to work on the encouragement. There's not much opportunity for that mostly because of limited interaction by happenstance of his work schedule, but maybe something will come up that will allow it.
Thanks for sharing your story.
Refuse to judge. God is working on the husband's heart. He may be getting closer to God than you realize. There's an unseen spiritual struggle going on for the man's heart. One little word of judging, or even just an attitude of judging can tip the struggle in favor of the wrong direction. Only God knows what is really going on inside a person.
Good advice.
Thank you for this. I will use it to see what happens.