Cheryl and I believe strongly in premarital counseling. The lack of appropriate training for marriage is, in my opinion, one of the leading causes for problems in marriages. If you go into anything unprepared, you are likely to get into trouble quicker than if you prepare in advance. Make sense?
I would be curious to know how much effective premarital counseling some of my readers have had and what difference it made. You can leave a comment about that on this post. My suspicion, however, based on the people I have spoken with through my ministry, is that most have had very little effective premarital counseling.
If this is your case, it may not be too late. Obviously if you are married, you can’t do “premarital counseling”, but you could get some marriage counseling, before your marriage needs it. That’s being proactive about your marriage.
Knowing that most readers will not take me up on my suggestion let me offer another solution. This is something that every couple can easily do. It’s less threatening, inexpensive, if not free, and highly effective at helping your marriage.
My advice today: Find a couple whose marriage you can model. Allow the strength of someone else’s marriage to impact yours.
What you will find, when you see a marriage that appears to work, is that two imperfect people found a way to make their marriage thrive. There may have been hard times, probably were, but they weathered through them and made their marriage better as a result. Their process of making their marriage work will help you learn to strengthen yours.
Stop for just a minute and think of one couple whose marriage you would love your marriage to look like. Ask them if you can hang out with them once in a while, or at least exchange emails with them, and if they will make themselves available to your marriage. Let their iron sharpen your iron.
Finally, pay tribute here. Who is one married couple you would love your marriage to look like? What about their marriage encourages you in your marriage?