The larger our church gets the more I have to say no…
It’s become a necessity…
To maintain my health, the health of my family and the church, I have to discipline myself to say no more often…
No I can’t counsel you, but I can refer you to someone….
No I can’t do your wedding, but I know someone who can…
No I can’t meet with you today, but we can look at something next week…
No I can’t answer that question, but I know where we can get an answer…
No I won’t be at your dinner party, but I’m certain it would have been a blast…
It’s not that I wouldn’t rather say yes…
It’s an “easier” answer at the time…
It certainly pleases more people…
But….
In order for me to do an adequate job at the things I must do such as leading and developing staff, preaching and vision casting I have to say no to things I might wish to do, but simply can’t…
I wonder if this isn’t necessary for pastors regardless of the church size…
If you’re not saying no to anything is your yes even worth as much these days…
Are you truly able to do a descent job with all the demands on your time?
Pastors, is it difficult for you to say no?
Are you offended if you pastor has to say no to your request?
I believe it's not hard to say no, provided you know how to do it. Last week I made a public (and a polite, loving, humble…) request to the congregation and asked them to consider not expecting me to minister on Mondays (because it's my only off day) and Saturdays (as I am busy preparing for the Sunday service).
I agree with Uma – The pastor is not running a business but he is in ministry. However it's important that he maintains his health, arrange priorities and spend time with his wife and family. An unbalanced ministry is always doomed to fail.
In conclusion this is a problem faced by almost every pastor in South Asia… Our congregations have adopted a lifestyle of not accepting "no" for an answer. They get hurt very easily which is a sign of emotional immaturity. I believe this is the time that pastors of South Asia train their congregations for emotional maturity and to be less self centered.
Knowing how is a good point!
Sometimes, a believer going to a 'big' church will become gloomy if he hears that his lead pastor telling that "No I can’t do your wedding, but I know someone who can…". I have seen this in my church. I go to a church where 4000 to 5000 people attend evey week. When some church goer demand is turned down, they feel themselves as "second rated" and start feeling very bad. Hence, they ask for dates from the pastor and change their marriage date according to pastor's available appointment.
But, I think it is very difficult for a pastor to say "no" as he is not running a business but a ministry.
Thanks Uma. It is hard. The pastor only has so many hours in a week, so in a church the size of yours, there just isn't enough of him to go around.