The way people expect a leader to respond determines how transparent they will be with them — and how much trust they will receive.
I’ve learned this one repeatedly in leadership.
- You can tell people you want honesty.
- Your team can hear, “My door is always open.”
- You can say, “I want you to push back on my ideas.”
But people eventually stop listening to what you say about transparency and start watching how you respond when they actually practice it.
And your response teaches them what is safe to say next time.
- If someone brings you bad news and you immediately become defensive, they’ll remember.
- When someone questions an idea and you make them pay for it later, they’ll remember.
- If someone admits a mistake and your first response is anger rather than curiosity, they’ll remember.
- Someone disagrees with you and suddenly they find themselves outside the inner circle, everyone else will remember too.
People are always learning the unwritten rules of an organization.
And one of the biggest unwritten rules is – How much truth can the leader handle?
Leaders rarely get more transparency than they can emotionally handle.
The higher you rise in leadership, the easier it becomes for people to tell you what they think you want to hear. That’s dangerous.
You need someone willing to say:
- “I think we’re missing something.”
- “People aren’t understanding what you think they’re understanding.”
- “That decision is creating a problem.”
- “I don’t think the team is with us yet.”
- “You didn’t handle that very well.”
- Or even, “I think you’re wrong.”
Those conversations aren’t always enjoyable. But they are incredibly valuable.
I want to surround myself with people smarter than me in areas where I’m weak. But having smart people around the table doesn’t help much if they are afraid to tell me what they actually think.
A leader can unintentionally train good people to remain silent.
React strongly enough a few times and people will begin editing themselves.
- They’ll soften the bad news.
- You’ll see them avoid sensitive subjects.
- They’ll wait until the decision has already failed before telling you they had concerns.
Eventually, the leader may conclude, “Everyone seems to agree with me.”
Maybe.
Or maybe everyone has simply learned that disagreement isn’t worth the cost. That’s not trust. And it certainly isn’t a healthy team.
Trust develops over time as people watch what we do with what they give us.
They are asking questions we may never hear:
- Can I tell you the truth?
- Is it okay to admit I don’t know?
- Can I disagree without damaging our relationship?
- If I make a mistake will I be defined by it?
- Can I tell you something you don’t want to hear?
- Will you listen before you react?
Every response provides an answer.
This doesn’t mean leaders can never be disappointed, challenge poor performance, correct someone, or make hard decisions.
Leadership requires all of those. Transparency doesn’t eliminate accountability.
Healthy accountability and emotional unpredictability are very different things.
People should know where the boundaries are. They should understand expectations. They should know there are consequences for certain decisions.
What they shouldn’t have to wonder is which version of the leader is going to show up when they tell the truth.
Consistency creates safety. Safety encourages transparency. Transparency builds trust.
And trust is one of the most valuable forms of currency a leader possesses.
One of the best questions a leader can regularly ask is – What have my reactions taught people they can safely tell me?
The answer may reveal more about the culture you’re creating than anything written in your organization’s values statement.
If you want greater transparency from the people you lead, don’t start by asking them to talk more.
Start by examining how you respond when they do.
