I met with a young man recently who is passionate about growing in his relationship with God, being a better husband and father, becoming more active in the church and community and excelling in his work.
He’s sensing an internal, self-induced tension to do more and be better in each area of his life.
His question to me was basically, how can he balance all the things he wants to do or feels he needs to be doing?
I certainly understood the question. It’s a pressure I’ve experienced many times in my life, especially during certain seasons. In fact, I’m sensing it again as I entered the empty-nester phase of life. I do believe in order to be successful with all the demands a person has, one has to get better personally, physically, spiritually, emotionally and relationally, before we can achieve more but, I think there may be a better answer than that.
I gave him one word of advice that has helped me during those seasons. Perhaps you need to hear this as well.
I challenged him to consider if he was asking the right question.
Instead of asking…
What should I be doing?
Maybe he should be asking…
Who do I want to be?
I have found that when I consider the person I want to be that the actions I need to take to get there become clearer. In fact, many of the actions I may have thought I needed to take, become less important, because they don’t seem to help me become who I say I want to be.
Which question are you or do you most need to be asking?