What’s the purpose of marriage?
We are doing a series called Family Ties at Grace Community Church next month and I’m speaking three times on marriage. It begins with a look at the purpose of marriage. I’m not convinced we all know…or perhaps even agree…with what the purpose of marriage. Of course, we will look at what the Bible says about marriage, but I’m curious…
As I prepare, dialogue with me on this post. I want your opinion. I believe the Bible should shape our thoughts, not a person’s opinion, but I also believe understanding what people believe will help me prepare to address this from a Biblical perspective. Also, while I believe the Bible gives some clear purposes for marriage, I realize some of that is subject to interpretation of Scripture.
So, will you help me? Consider these questions to fuel your thoughts.
- What do you believe is/are the purpose/s of marriage?
- Is it better for some people not to marry?
- Do you think some people marry for the wrong reasons?
- Is the Bible clear on “all” the purposes of marriage?
Share your thoughts…dialogue…help me out…
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While I am a Christian and have strong belief in marriage, I am personally faced with the seriousness of this question. I am divorced, but now living with a man whom I love very deeply, who treats me and my children well, but has basicly said he does not want to marry me (because he dont like the relationship i have with my mother, which has its problems but she is still my mother). not the important part.! so I have 6 daughters and a son and I have always tried to teach them that they should get married before they live together. Now my daughter is talking about moving in with her fiance' and I am against it however the man I live with tells her the bible says nothing about being married first only about keeping yourself pure!! Im confused. Its difficult to try to make her understand why i want them to get married first, when the man I LIVE with refuses to marry me. Not to mention he has scripture to show my daughter. wow didnt mean to go on and on but I read this and its a very real situation for me. anything you can share would be great!!
The only comment I would have is that not every issue we deal with is directly addressed in the Bible, but that doesn't mean we are free to make up our own way because it's not there. The Bible serves as a guideline for making wise choices. Marriage is given an extremely high value in God's Word. It is in the context of marriage that God works to make two people one flesh (Eph 5). We don't have that same promise outside of marriage.
To help you become less selfish.
"The purpose of marriage is not to make you happy but to make you holy." – Rick Warren
I'm single so take this only as you see fit.
I do believe a marriage purpose is to mirror Christ relationship with the Church, as well as fulfill a calling in the lives of the married couple.
I think people get married for all kinds of reasons, some wrong and some right. I think some people marry out of insecurity and false expectations. Depending on their walk with Christ that could end in divorce. Others seem to walk through the tough times and find themselves. Most of my friends got married later in life (not in their 20s) and all have shared that it's worth the wait. Patience in finding a mate seems to be key in starting a successful marriage.
I think people read into some of the stories of the bible concerning marriage. Hosea married a loose woman at the command of God, there was polygamy and concubines. Not sure what to make of a lot of those stories.
I think learning to enjoy your current status (single or married) is important. I seem to be the envy of a lot of my married co-workers. Although I'm alone, I am not lonely. My life is full and I enjoy it. When marriage presents itself, I'll enjoy that too.
Thanks Laurinda. I think these are great thoughts.
I'd say to demonstrate Christ's love for His church… so when churches are broken, just as relationships break down, we have have a parallel to contemplate. I'd also say to show God's action in our world, ie the divine aspect of God's work inthe two becoming one, albeit such is often downplayed, or even ignored in todays society.
Absolutely some should not marry, God has a better calling for some. Again, such is downplayed in society, or even ignored, but unlike marriage purposes in general, Paul seems very clear on the matter. By the same token, not all are called to not be married, thats ok too.
I think many young folks get married out of societies expectations, or worse as a way of white nuckle sin avoidance. While I think it would be difficult to attribute causality when it comes to divorce, I think there is correlation between the two.
Good word. Thanks!
Purpose of marriage is twofold for me. Thefirst is to mirror the bond between Christ and his people. All of the Hebrew traditions that we perform in our wedding ceremony, even down to the bride walking through the center to signify the holy spirit passing through the meat to bond it together in the Hebrew ceronies when two entered into a pact. The second purpose is bc god loves us to be happy and blessed. We are all wired for Gods love, and to search for it. Marriage allows for u’s in the earthly fashion to be pleased.
I almost missed this comment. Thanks for sharing.
I love the thought "What if marriage is intended to make you holy and not happy?" It helps me to know I'm committed even when I may be "feeling" all sorts of non-happy feelings.
I agree people marry with the wrong expectations. But I seen some marry for the wrong reasons. But we need to stay focused on the commitment not the reasons.
Thanks Trev. Interesting…I'm addressing Purpose first week…commitment second week…We are on the same thought process.
My thoughts, Ron! ( In spite of being single, I am sharing my views. )
Is it better for some people not to marry? — It all depends. Getting married or not married – either way is acceptable. (if it is God's plan and will for us)
Do you think some people marry for the wrong reasons? — No, generally, they marry with wrong expectations. That's why relationships through marriage breaks.
However, it is not deniable that some try to cheat the other and get married to get a favor. (it may be monetary or physical)They trade marriage as a business.
Is the Bible clear on “all” the purposes of marriage? Yes. The Bible is very clear on the institution of marriage and family.
You always have good thoughts.
Ron – God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit make up the Trinity – a deep and loving relationship that we can only understand dimly. I believe marriage is meant to give us the same opportunity for relationship – father, mother, and children – a deep, loving community that reflects the essential nature of God. Last summer a daughter of friends got married. She was so excited going down the aisle to marry her one true love and he was just as excited – it showed. In the next week four of her friends – including her twin sister, broke up with their boyfriends. They realized they didn't have the same love they say on the faces of those two. I think some people are so afraid of being alone, they marry for all the wrong reasons. They don't create that deep, loving commitment and then work on it together for years to come.
Thanks Nancy. Good stuff.
From Scripture I would say the ultimate purpose of marriage is to be an image of God’s glory in his love for his people. Ephesians 5 springs to mind, as does the bride imagery in Revelation and the gospels and littered throughout the Bible.
Within that great purpose there are other purposes. Each one a part of the great purpose but worth stating on their own.
Relationship is one. It was not good for the man to be alone. He needed someone just like him, “bone of my bone”. As God exists in eternal intimate selfless relationship, so it was not good for the man to exists without this intimate selfless relationship with an equal, “flesh of my flesh”. Marriage, becoming one flesh, pictures this. Ephesians 5 and 1Cor 7 talk about this – 1Cor 7 especially in terms of the physcial side of marriage, your body belonging to your partner not yourself. This selflessness intimacy is a little echo of our trinue God, especially in his love for his people.
Thanks for sharing Chris. This is helpful