In years of doing ministry, through personal experience, and by living life with others, I’ve learned a few things not to say. I’ve seen well-meaning people make proclamations they can’t keep. What I’ve come to realize is that life has a way of throwing us surprises, so we should be proactive in guarding our heart and life.
With that in mind, I would be careful starting a sentence with the following phrases:
I’m not worried about my marriage because…
I’m not tempted to…
My spouse would never cheat because…
This can’t fail because…
I could never lose my job because…
My kids will never…
You wouldn’t understand because…
Have you been snagged by one of these statements? Which one do you need to guard against the most?
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How about "I know what the Bible says, but…."
I've heard that one a few times.
Yes, I've heard that too
You know what you should do….
That's good
Great list – Some I had not considered – Thanks Pastor – One that always to jump out at me is "At least I…" I really think we settle for the least too much and it starts with our speech.
I agree Kevin. If you start with a disclaimer….
I have to say that if there were ever a way to start a sentence that absolutely scares me: I mean this in love, of course, but….. It is usually that "but" that puts me in cold shivers! What really scared me was when I actually heard myself use the same words with someone when I wasn't sure how to let them know they were doing something that really could have been trouble. When I heard those things coming out, I retracted and got out of the conversation; I knew I was going the wrong way.
Thanks Bryan. I agree. That qualifying statement is usually not good
How about "No offense but…" Somehow that phrase is frequently followed by something offensive.
Great list Ron and ones that really made me stop and think. You consistently have great thoughts to share.
Thanks Tony. You are right.
But I'm not worried about my marriage.
Not because I am such a great husband, but because I didn't make a commitment to my wife, and she didn't make a commitment to me. We both made a commitment to God that we would stay together because we promised Him we would.
Other than that, I think you have a pretty awesome list there. And God knows I have said them all at times…
Thanks man!
I’ve got an additional one, but I’ll admit I got it from a friends:
“Now I’m not a racist [or a sexist] but…”
Wow! That's a great one and so true!
Very insightful post, Ron. Two words that often become snares in my starting sentences are "always" and "never." I suppose those fall under the category of absolutes. They've gotten be in trouble with people on occasion and also with God.
I've got a lot to learn and am thankful for God's grace and the knowledge that I'm not on this journey alone.
Thanks Melinda. I agree. Absolutes can be dangerous.
Very true. Whenever people start using absolute words (always and never), it becomes difficult if not impossible for their statements to be realized.
Thanks…you are right…absolute words are dangerous…except where they apply to Christ.