Let’s discuss….
As a former business owner, I am a huge proponent for treating a customer well. I don’t know that I would say the customer is king always, but the goal should certainly be that they leave feeling good about their experience. Customer service is the front door of any business (or church). Because of that, I tip well, I express appreciation and I always have a desire to make the waiter or waitresses day better, not worse than before I came. I want to encourage and reward good service and I realize that there could always be personal reasons why a person gives bad service on a particular day. I am always perplexed, however, of the way to respond when I receive bad service.
One night this week, my small group ate together at a local restaurant. From our first encounter, we knew our waiter did not want to be there. He was obviously impatient and snappy with his responses. It wasn’t the worst customer service I’ve ever received, but it was obviously not one of the best. When a large group recognizes the tension in a waiter, it’s probably a good indicator that service is less than excellent. It reminded me, especially with the pressure of my small group around me, that I don’t always know how to respond.
Today’s Friday discussion is:
What kind of customer should a Christian be? Do Christians have a right to complain when their service is bad? If the waiter or waitress is rude, do we turn the other cheek, or speak the truth in love? Do you tip for bad service and for good? Do you talk to the manager?
Give me your thoughts. How do you personally handle bad service?
Discuss and engage! I want to learn from you.
Workers should be treated with grace and understanding. However, everything is a salvation issue. If the person serving is not willing to listen or they are showing tendencies which mean they need help or to learn from what has happened, then it may be necessary to give feedback about the situation. One thing I have done sometimes is not give any names or times of incidents, hoping that the comment will be read generally and those involved will know it’s them as I do not desire to get them into trouble.
I think that people should be extended grace and mercy the way Christ has done for us on a daily basis. You don't know what that person is going through and showing them Love could be an opportunity to witness to a broken spirit and a broken heart. I am a believer and I work in the medical field as a receptionist for Radiology. Yesterday a patient came up to me and told me I was rude to her on the phone. I remembered the conversation and it was not the way she says it was. However, my tone could have been nicer. She went on and on about my rudeness. I felt a big lump in my throat and I was trying so hard not to burst out crying. She said "Everyone was awesome except you". I appologized but it was not enough for her. I was embarrased and felt misunderstood. I thought to myself: "If she only knew everything I deal with, how hard I work, and that I am hurting too." But I asked God to help me to Love people despite how I'm feeling. I would have been good if she would have extended grace and mercy, because chances are, she will one day need the same when she makes a mistake.
Twitter: joe_sewell
says:
Wow, a good question and some great responses.
I believe there's a balance needed in our response to poor customer service. If discernment indicates the server has been beaten up by the day there already, I'm ready to defend them against nasty customers or an uncaring manager. On the other hand, if the server just seems incompetent or uncaring, I feel the manager needs to know. If the food is bad, I feel the manager needs to know that, too. If the manager is incompetent or uncaring, and it doesn't appear he/she is just having a bad day, I'll let the corporate office know.
I should add a disclaimer here. We are "regulars" at a couple of restaurants nearby. We get to know the staff there, and in one case the district manager. We've been told that they listen to our opinion when we complain because we don't complain if something is just a little "off" or somebody's having a bad day. One cashier came to know Christ because of our "ministry" in this regard, while another has a son who would've been the victim of an abortion had God not placed us there to intervene. We've also become friends and/or "family" to several servers.
Yes, we've sent food back, simply because it was disgusting. I grew up on a farm, so it's hard to gross me out. One time I was served strips of bacon that, literally, were half-burnt, half-raw … and that's each strip! The engineer in me still hasn't quite figured out how they pulled that off, but they did. I had to send it back. We go to that particular restaurant 2-3 times a week, and this was probably the only time in a year I sent something back. They knew that.
What's interesting is I do tend to act differently in a place I do not frequent. I'm more likely to lower the tip for bad service, and less likely to ask for the manager. Part of that, I guess, is that I don't know the people, so I can't tell if they're hurting or just waiting to go out clubbing after they get off work.
Firm but fair. Be a man about the issue, not a push over. Show the fruit of the spirit in the whole matter,use wisdom and remember many of us have been on the ‘other side of the counter’ so to speak. Be imitators of God and children of light. Eph 4 and 5
That's good. Thanks!
There's two essential approaches to customer service:
1. Treat the bad service with politeness, explain your dissatisfaction, and let them know that you may take steps to protect their other customers from similar service experiences. In other words, do everything you can do, including hiring a lawyer, to get the treatment you're entitled to, but in the event you are still violated, make sure they know that it will cost them with other customers.
2. Do whatever you can to get the case or experience publicized to the rest of their customer base, and thereby help others avoid having a repeat of your experience. I'm doing this right now. I got terrible cost and service from Toyota, and I'm making it my mission to reach 500k Toyota customers / families in my geography with the story. Surely, I will help someone avoid a repeat of my bad experience. And at the same time, I'm making all this very visible to Toyota, in the hope that they will see the larger cost of treating their gouging their customers and treating them without consideration.
Thanks for sharing your story and adding to the discussion.
Good question Ron. I’ve worked in the hospitality industry for over 30 years so I’m usually pretty patient when it comes to below average service. However, if the service is really bad, I will ask to speak with a manager. As long as you stay calm and deal with the facts, I see nothing wrong with complaining. As you know, that manager can’t fix the problem if they don’t know about it.
It's great to hear from the managers perspective.
Good post Ron,
Owning my own business probably makes me very cognizant of the service I receive, and not just at restaurants. I would like to say that I can be identified as a Christian by every response to poor service, but I am sure that is not the case. When I do receive poor service (after trying to lighten the mood) or especially if an employee talks bad about the company they work for, I make it a point to speak with a manager privately. I do this because and owner with customers, I would want to know. I trust that the manager can handle it effectively. If not, then perhaps the employee is better off with a different job.
I think that replying to this post will make me more aware of how I respond to poor service in the future so, thanks!
Usually if I get bad service, I just won't go back; speaking, as it were, with my money. And I don't tip as well if the service wasn't up to par. I don't think that I've ever complained to a manager, although I was out with friends once and the service was so bad that I almost did.
And perhaps something should be said. After all, the server is the face of the restaurant and if that person is turning off customers, if I were a manager I would want to know.
I'm in IT and had someone today ask about the longevity of Macs. I responded that, although you can get a lemon anywhere, Apple computer products are known for their robustness. He said that his wife was in an Apple store somewhere trying to get some service on an out of warranty laptop; about 3-4 years old. The Apple person waiting on her responded with something to the effect that if you've gotten 3-4 years out of this laptop, you should consider that good. That is a wrong comment and turned them off of Apple products for years. So there is a situation where "Bad" service potentially cost the company thousands of dollars in future business.
Turning the other cheek isn’t being a doormat. I’m a relatively easy-going person but I’ll make it clear when I’m frustrated. I believe the key is in how you do that.
I try to put myself in the person’s shoes. Maybe he/she had a bad day. Maybe their life is falling apart.
One way to avoid this is being friendly to your server. When you treat them like they are “just” a servant there to fetch what you need, it is a lot more difficult to approach them the right way.
I’ve asked my waiter in a friendly tone, “How is your day going? Seems like it’s busy, huh?” That right there has alleviated issues.
But sometimes people just don’t respond. At that point I don’t have a problem speaking with a manager. Again it is how you approach it. You can say “my service sucked and you need to get some good help”. Or you can say, “I usually get great service but I was a little disappointed today. I’m not sure if my waiter was having a bad night but I definitely didn’t get the service I’m used to. I just wanted to bring it to your attention.”
Complaints and demands sure can be pretty ugly and as a Christian, I wouldn’t want to be known for coming across like that.
It seems the consensus here is that, as Christians, we have an obligation to be understanding to the fact that the server may have a rough day or have personal problems we don't know about. I agree with this and I've had enough bad days in my life that I do my best to never complain about someone who's frazzled or tired or disorganized. Those are usually the signs that this is just a bad day and they probably do great any other day, so hassling them won't help anyone.
When it's a competence issue, I try to let it slide, unless of course we're talking about brain-surgeons or a member of the bomb squad or something like that. I've been incompetent enough in my life that I know people just need time to learn a job. When I started serving at my current church, I did such a bad job on the team I joined that I was removed from the roster permanently, until they noticed I didn't stop showing up and trying to improve despite not being on the roster. Then, when they saw my attitude was better than my skills, they reassigned me to a job that required less skill and that let me grow. Now, after years of serving faithfully and continuing to learn, I co-lead that team and routinely do jobs that even the most skillful members of the team can't fill. I just needed someone to be patient with my lack of skill.
On the other hand, if the reason I want to complain in a restaurant is because of an attitude issue, then I consider that different, because bad-attitude is an infectious disease that the manager or leader needs to know about and respond to. I also think of it as a leader myself, because I figure if I give them a respectful heads up now that despite the other ten times Fred waited on my well, this one time he was rude (and I try to always include context so the manager doesn't feel pressure to over-react), then that early warning allows the manager to deal with Fred in a gracious manner, instruct him, and hopefully fix the problem before Fred's future becomes unduly freed from work obligations. But, if I say nothing and let bad attitude slide, bad attitude rarely fixes itself. The problem will just get worse and the team and Fred will suffer.
I guess the key is that my threshold for complaint is very high and my threshold for compliment is much lower. As long as that's true, I have no problem saying something to a manager when my complaint threshold is reached. I've probably told managers how impressed I was or told a friend to eat at a particular restaurant I enjoyed more often than I've complained.
I personally think that you have the right as a customer to respond to the customer service that you recieve whether or not your a Christian is besides the point. However if you are a Christian I feel that you have a responsibility to handle the situation accordingly. I have definitely in the past said something in love to a manger and then sometimes when I feel like someone isn’t deserving of a tip the Holy Spirit quickly reminds me that I wasn’t deserving of salvation but He gave it to me anyway. So I mean I guess it totally depends on the situation at hand… I have found that simply asking for a comment card whether for a good or bad situation tends to work best, that way you have the opportunity to really think about what you say and how to reword anything that needs to be said differently.
Thanks Terri. Good thoughts
I worked in retail and restaurant service for the better part of 10 years. I'm also currently in a personal service industry (real estate,) so I've always been very sensitive to customer service on both sides of the exchange. In all honesty, I'm very easily upset by service providers who transfer their anger/frustration/angst to their customers. I think that, no matter how we're feeling, we never have the right to drag others down with us. However, on the receiving end, we do need to treat these people with grace. We don't understand what they're going through, so I don't feel as though its on us to call them out for being less than enthusiastic in our exchange. Yes, there is a line between doing a less-than-exemplary job and just plain failing to do your job. That should be acknowledged, rebuked, and corrected. As for me, I have a lot of trouble going to a manager and complaining unless the person flat refuses to do the job I'm paying(or tipping) them to do.
Good thoughts Kenny. Thank you.
Respect is a two-way street especially in customer service. When I visit a restaurant, I hope to be greeted and served by people who value the opportunity to work in their chosen field. When the wait staff is having a bad day, it is easy to see if it's because they are misplaced in their position or if life is just rough for them that day. In the latter, I think the customer needs to empathize and in the former, act accordingly by letting the manager know their employee may not be the right person for the job. Quietly. Privately.
Thanks Linda. Good input.
I respectfully disagree. Suggesting to a manager that it may not be the right job for the person just because of one night of bad service? I’m sorry, but that’s too much. If the servers life is falling apart, I don’t think losing a job is going to help. I’d rather be served badly many times in a row rather than a server getting fired because of me. It’s not the guest’s job to suggest that type of thing. All that should be done, at the most, is a report of the bad service and then the manager can examine what to do from there. I especially say this because recently, a couple guests have said I’ve been rude to them, although I constantly have the Love and Serve attitude. Some really really misread body language, even with a smile!
As someone who worked in telephone customer service prior to Bible College and after and am now a full time Pastor I have my convictions regarding how a customer should be treated and how a Christian should gracefully handle times when a waiter or store clerc is having a bad day. I tend to pick up on the mood of my server or clerc pretty quick and factor that into my response. Meaning I try and respond with extra kindness & patience if I notice they need a smile & encouragement. However I find that when I deal with a telephone customer service agent I tend to be less forgiving. I don't think that is right and I am perlexed as to why that is my tendency. I don't believe we Christ followers gave up our right to ask for better customer service when we believed in Jesus however I believe we must respond as an ambassador in Christ as with every other area of life. Of course this is so easy to say and pretty difficult to do each and every day.
I'm afraid that I've been guilty of a non-Christian response to poor service. It's a pride thing for me — for some reason I tend to think that I'm deserving of good, pleasant service. I want to respond gently and in a Christlike manner and, when I don't, I feel guilty afterwards — "…the good I want to do, I don't do…"
Thanks for being honest Bob.
We have to remember that our actions and responses reflect on who we are and our testimony. I remember working in a yogurt shop in high school, before I was a Christian. A youth group from a local church would come in every Sunday evening, right at closing time. They were loud, rude to us as they ordered, complained about the size of what they were served or begged for extras, stayed an hour past our posted closing time, and left the store a complete mess, not wiping up spills or even tossing their trash in the garbage cans. And I thought to myself, "So that is what is Christian is?".
As we are instructed by Paul, let our word only speak what will build others up. We are here to be the light.
Good reminder. Thanks for joining the discussion
Twitter: joe_sewell
says:
What you describe is the opposite end of things. I agree with you 100%. I've seen too many "church people" pull the same thing. One time a church group called a local restaurant and said about 12 of them were coming in around 10 (on a day when the place closed at 11). Around 10:30 or later the last of 24 of them arrived, and then they started ordering. That's beyond rude.
There's another common "Christian" practice that I think needs to stop: leaving a tract instead of a tip. First off, in all honesty, most servers have already seen dozens of copies of every possible tract you might have, and they all get tossed into the garbage. Second, they cannot put food on their own tables with a tract. Third, that tells them that "church people" are insensitive and uncaring.
Joe, I agree with you. Thanks!
If I desire good customer service, the server maybe having a not-so pleasant day, I make it my business to draw out the best out of my server. I initiate good, yet time friendly conversation. Ask them about their day. Have a concern about their occupation. Be to them what you desire them to be to you. Inject happiness into the interaction. Don’t allow their lack of having a good day ruin their toward you. Don’t force them to enjoy the their job. Allow them to receive your concern they’ll use to change the remainder of their day. After their encounter with you, they’ll expect the next customer to be just as good them as you were.
That's good. Thanks for adding to the dialogue.
… Shortly thereafter he left her (after 30+ years of marriage), and she had still not adjusted to living down here. On top of that, the doctor was 2 hours late arriving at the office and many of the patients had taken their anger out on her. She was having a bad day and it showed, but by offering to pray for her, her mood lightened and a conversation started. We talked for several minutes and invited her to church. I haven't seen her at church yet, but I know that the tension experienced that day was lifted because I tried to respond to her in a way that I believed honored my commitment to Christ — speak the truth in love. It has worked for me many times, this example is just one. Thanks for this post!
Hey Ron! Great Question! Generally, when I feel like I am not receiving good customer service I try to be direct, yet gentle, in how I handle it. This actually happened to me recently while I was at the doctor's office. From the moment the nurse called my wife and me back to the exam room, it was obvious the nurse was in a bad mood and she acted like she did not want to be there. One thing I have learned in ministry is that when people arrive for Bible study or worship (on Sunday morning for us) or work, they bring with them whatever they have experienced right before they arrive — a fight with a spouse or child, getting up late and rushing around, forgetting to eat breakfast, etc. So I try to apply this principle to the customer service I receive as well. In the case of our nurse, I simply said to her that it seemed she was not having a good day and was there anything I could pray about for her. This opened up a great conversation with this woman. I found out that she was frustrated in her life because she had just moved to Florida within the last couple of years after living up north her whole life (cont…)
Personally, I try to handle bad service with grace and kindness, always mindful that in God's eyes, I am my server's servant, and am there not for my own enjoyment but to witness to the love and grace of Christ. I do not believe that I "deserve" good service, but I do feel that in light of the unspeakable gift that I have been given thru Christ despite my utter lack of deserving it, I can offer nothing but gentleness and kindness.
I have seen Christians moan about bad service, and it always strikes me as odd. We are here to serve, not to be served. If Christ came to be a servant to all, are we better than he is? When His feet were not washed at the last supper, He grabbed a towel. He in no way complained, but instead put aside His right to be served (and He is the only one that carries that right) and in turn, served others. It is not my place to correct or discipline a server w/an attitude. It is my place, my privilege, my joy to serve them instead.
When my own comfort and pleasure become more important that the precious soul in front of me, something is desperately wrong. Can you imagine the apostle Paul getting indignant because his waiter got snarky with him? He, who rejoiced that his jailors were chained to him, because they were lost and needed to know the love of God! If he did not resent or fuss about his jailors, but cared only for their eternal lives, should we really be fussing about the waiter that doesn't gush over us as he brings us our coffee?
So, how do I think we should react? Love, extravagant, gentle, kind, passionate, uplifting, serving, caring, joyful, peaceful, tender, self-denying, miraculous love. And yes, I still tip them. 🙂
That's good. Thanks for joining the discussion.
Well-put, Kelly!
Twitter: joe_sewell
says:
Good point, Kelly.
On the other hand, though, what if informing the manager of bad service helps improve service for those coming in after you?
I used to wait tables and I grew up in retail so I'm sensitive to this. I always believe in treating the customer with respect and joy. Having lived it makes more, dare I say, critical. I'm forgiving when I can see someone is having a rough day. In fact, I will usually try and talk it out with that person (depending on who I'm with). And I always tip- but if someone is just flat-out rude, it will be the bare minimum. As for complaining? We should be honest, that's different. I admit I don't do this enough. Too often I'll be served something that something isn't right and I'll go ahead and eat it anyway and not say a thing and later regret it. In fact, I had a smoothie recently and I could tell the fruit was beginning to spoil. I drank it anyway. Stayed home sick the next day. If only I had returned it.____Honesty, respect, joy. Those are the characteristics we should display as Christians either serving or being served.
Thanks. Good thoughts.
Ron: good topic and one that has been on my mind quite a bit in recent years. I have found that since social networking has become part of my life (twitter, facebook, blogs, linkedin), the tone of my comments have become more sarcastic, pithy and self-focused. That extends especially to bad customer service. There have been quite a few posts on the topic of Twitter allowing us to become more whiny and complain more easily. And while I don't think that is entirely bad, I've had to unfollow people who do nothing but complain. If I practice what we tell our children (if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all) I wouldn't use any of these mediums to trash a brand or service. And I think we SHOULD/WOULD use them to give praise and thanks to brands or service that we get that are good. Of course for me, I work for a company that represents thousands of brands so I never know when I tweet something bad if my company represents them or not so that probably adds to my caution. Just a few thoughts. Thanks for the post. Eager to see the dialogue that ensues.
Great insight. Thanks for joining the discussion.