I received a great email of concern this week on an issue I think others may have as a concern as well. I know I have asked questions like this personally at times.
The email said, “I believe in prayer, but I never know what to say. What if I say the wrong thing? Does that make sense?”
Here was my answer:
Yes, it makes perfect sense, but I wonder if you are making prayer more difficult than it is intended to be. Consider for a moment that God is the “friend who sticks closer than a brother.” What if God were a person, who is actually in the room with you, that knows you better than anyone has ever known you, that would never betray you, so you could trust Him with anything, that loves you unconditionally whether you do the right things or not, and that always has your best interests at heart…could you talk to that person?
That’s who He is…now talk….
Do you ever struggle with what to say in your prayers? Could it be you are treating prayer as more of a religious formality than a conversation with someone with whom you have a relationship?
What tips can you offer to help others in their prayer life? What questions about prayer do you have?
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I'm reading a book called The Practice of the Prssence of God/Brother Lawrence. This man was a monk who main job was to cook for the other monks, through his life he learned the value of as the Bible calls it praying without ceasing. Bro Lawrence calls it having a continous conversation with God.If we can get that, that prayer is having a conversation with some one who loves us ,wants to know our thoughts and needs, hurts and wishs both big and small, and He also wants to talk back. Thats conversation. To many times we treat God like Santa Clause. Or we aproach prayer like were filling out an application for a grant . All God wants is relationship.Prayer is not a application that we can fill out wrong. its having a talk with God
I love to hear my boys pray and appreciate their free spirtedness. They have thanked God for family (each person by name), dogs (one that we don't have anymore), baseball, chocolate, electricity, LOVE, forks, snacks and sleep overs. They have prayed for sick aunts, lost children and the families in Haite. I hope my prayers are always as earnest as theirs'.
I learned a lot from hearing my boys pray when they were little. Totally agree.
I was just reading in Matthew 6 this morning with my kids. My son asked me what it meant by "empty words". I think that is where we stray too often. We try to come up with the right words or things that sound good when all God wants is to hear our heart. As it says in Matt 6:8, He already knows what you need before you even ask. We just have to talk to Him, like you said, like He is a brother sitting in the same room as us. Not in disrespect or irreverence, but in the reassurance that He knows our heart no matter the words that we speak.
Wow, Eldon, what an awesome conversation to have with your son. Love it. Thanks for sharing.
You need to get hold of a new book called 'Crave' by Chris Tomlinson. It comes out in February. It deals with this issue of praying and finding it hard to prayer is a really simple yet profound way.
I have heard of that book Alex, but never read it. I'll have to add it to my list.
I'm dealing with this right now. I know what I want to have happen. I believe that I am in God's Will. But I still doubt sometimes because I can't see the entire picture. So, I've solved that by praying for what I know I want and what I think is His will and then I add: "Not my will, but Your's be done". That way I am having an honest conversation with God, but allowing that I don't see it all and letting Him know that I am His willing servant and His plan will be better than mine.
We definitely want the whole picture. In my experience, He gives us information on an as needed basis. If we knew the whole story, many of us would probably freak about what we face, but looking back at the big picture, we can always see His hand at work. Thanks for your comment
Thanks for this post Ron. A friend and i were just speaking about this two nights ago. I told him what I learned about God as our Friend and Father. My friend felt guilty for telling God that he was tired of helping people, so the guilt was beginning to shut down the communication between him and God because he felt God was judging him on how he felt. I told him that we have to stop giving God the same attributes that we see in our earthly fathers. If God already knows how I feel how great is that! That means I can really be transparent. His love isn't conditional anyway so my feelings aren't going to change how He feels about me. He's going to help me change my feelings.
@Keep God First – I like your Grandma comparison!
That's great advice Reid. So many people have a scarred image of the real God. Thanks for sharing.
One thing to keep in mind is that the Holy Spirit is a help in prayer. The things we can’t put into words, the Spirit interprets and passes on. I always thank the Holy Spirit for filling in my gaps in thought when I’m struggling with formulating a prayer. Our thoughts,feelings and concerns are never lost. Praise God for His mercy on that!
One thing to keep in mind is that the Holy Spirit is a help in prayer. The things we can’t put into words, the Spirit interprets and passes on. I always thank the Holy Spirit for filling in my gaps in thought when I’m struggling with a prayer. Our thoughts,feelings and concerns are never lost. Praise God for His mercy on that!
I was just talking about this on the radio today. John 14:16. It triggered some more thoughts I'll share in a future post. Thanks for your comment.
The books on prayer by Richard J. Foster and Philip Yancey are amazing. I highly recommend both.
In the meantime, we can think about what we enjoy in the communication from our own children. Sometimes the most trivial concerns and joys are the words we most treasure, When our young children are most honest, humble, and transparent, we feel closest to them.
When I taught 3's to pray, I would pick up the receiver of the Fisher Price phone and sing them a Hawaiian song… "Ring one, ring two, on the Hallelujah telephone. He will hear you, and He will answer, on the Hallelujah telephone."
Teaching 4's and 5's about prayer, I would ask them if they would call their Grandma and say, "Thank you for dinner" and hang up. They would giggle and say "nooooooooo!" I would add, "In the morning when you wake up, Jesus has been awake all night waiting to hear from you, and he might have to wait all day to talk to you. So call Him whenever you think of Him, and know that when you call Him, He wants to hear about your day and everything He missed since the last time you called, just like Grandma."
I love Foster and Yancey. I've read most of their stuff and highly recommend them. I always love the family illustrations too. It is a relationship! Thanks!
I recently read a book by a friend on the Lord's Prayer. He was in a fairly similar situation and really felt that God was telling him to pray the Lord's prayer, not just as instruction, but as a prayer to pray when you had nothing else to pray. I have a post about it from a couple weeks ago. http://mrshields.com/?p=312
If you want to email me the address of your friend (or yours) I will send you a copy.
Thanks for sharing that Adam. That's a great post.
Even the disciples wanted to know how to pray. and Jesus told them….this is how you should pray
(LORDS prayer). Simple and covers evertything. The length of the prayer or how it sounds does not give your prayer any more attention than if you just prayed like Jesus told us to. In fact, he is very clear on long fancy prayers that people pray, because they only edify themselves. Jesus tells them, you have received your reward.