All of us say things we wish we hadn’t said. We all offend people at times. Everyone knows what it is like to put foot in mouth.
Doing so is common, but what do we do afterwards?
Here are 5 Steps When You’ve Offended Someone:
Recognize that you will offend some people. – Actually, that should come before the incident. Even the most gentile-minded, peace-pursuing people are occasionally offensive. Sometimes the person on the other side of the offense has issues that make them easily offended. Sometimes we just say or do the wrong thing. It’s working to do so less often and never intentionally that should be our goal.
Pursue peace – Our goal should be to be at peace with others, as much as it depends on us. This too should be set, as a goal, before it’s needed, so you’ll respond accordingly when it is needed. Strive not to say or do things which are offensive. This often means learning to think before you speak.
Ask forgiveness and seek to rebuild trust. – Sometimes the best thing a person can do is to say they are sorry. Many times people want to pass blame, make excuses, or wait for the other person to make the first move towards reconciliation. If you know a perceived offense has occurred, put your “big boy pants” on and break the ice of forgiveness. Don’t be afraid to take the blame if it will bring peace in the end. Remember though that trust is built over time, so don’t be “offended” if it is not given to you instantly. You can release your own guilt once you’ve sought forgiveness.
Examine your life. – If you seem to consistently find yourself in situations where others feel offended by you; maybe the problem is you. Don’t be afraid to look at the “speck” in your own eye. Examine areas of your life where you are consistently offending others.
Stay true to God’s plan for your life. – While we should attempt to live at peace with everyone, we should never avoid offending people at the sacrifice of God’s plan for our life. Jesus’ best work was offensive to many. If you are being obedient to God, you will find it offends some (maybe many.) Don’t let that distract you from doing God’s will. And, don’t hide in the offense you made. Move forward.
Thank you.
Very enlightening … What if you were offended and the person who (you believe offended you) was not aware? Or you were in that vulnerable state…. May I suggest that the offended pray and ask for wisdom from God on how to deal with this? We learn a lot as we grow closer to God and deeper in His Word. Thanks.
That's a good suggestion. Thank you
Hi, Mr. Edmondson:
It's funny that I ran across today's post. We've been reciprocal followers on Twitter, as well as friends on Facebook, I believe. I've floundered in and out of both places where I've unfriended or unfollowed you on numerous occasions. I just want to say that I'm very sorry for all of that. I know how frustrating that's been for you. I'd like to rebuild your trust in me. I'm more "stable" than I've been in the past. And it's those reasons that I'd like to reconnect with you. But I wanted to take the risk in asking for your forgiveness and requesting to be "unblocked" on Twitter. If you'd rather not, then I will understand. I just didn't want this to be a hindrance in my relationship with our God. I apologize for bringing this up publicly on your blog – I didn't see where I could email you privately.
No problem. I noticed the in and out presence. I assumed something was wrong with your account and so I treated it as spam.
Good word, brother. Thanks for laying down some sound advice.
Thank you
Twitter: bryankr
says:
I have discovered, the hard way, that times will comes when I will say something that is horribly offenseive to a person. On rare occaisions, it has been best to leave the sitution alone! Let it pass. I was not aware of a previous instance that my words sparked a memory of. Had I gone any further, it would have made things so much worse. By allowing them the time they needed to think and process, they came back and we discussed what had happened,
Thanks!