Without a dad…

boy and father

A boy struggles…

Knowing what it means to become a man…

What courage, honor, and strength really looks like…

When to take a risk…

A girl struggles…

Understanding her beauty and value…

Sensing self confidence and independence

To demand respect and equality…

I’ve been convicted lately, that many times the orphans of today…

Are the fatherless…

(And many times the widows are the single mothers…)

The statistics of the impact of this on society are staggering. Great efforts are being taken by non-profits such as The Fatherhood Initiative. Even the government is getting involved, recognizing the problems associated with this issue in our society.

What is the church doing about it?

Seriously, what initiatives do you know of where the church is addressing the fatherless issue?

Pure and undefiled religion before our God and Father is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress...” James 1:27

(This is not to say we don’t take care of widows and orphans. We certainly do, but, in my opinion, we must not forget the cultural issues of our day…if we want “pure and undefiled religion”.)

What do you think?

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21 thoughts on “Without a dad…

  1. A churches mission is to go in to the whole world and teach, that includes the fatherless, the homeless, the widows and orphens. To me that means home missions, foreign misions and certainly to help care for their physical needs. When my dad died leaving my mother with 4little children the church wa not able to help financially, but they did help spiritually. So, I'm not against churches helping all the needy, but they should also teach Jesus' love and plan of salvation. Many churches never mention this in the pulpit anymore. I've had the opportunity to visit churches and cathedrals in our country and abroad and there is a lack of teachings of the Wordof God. Many churches here in the South are providing bus service to pick up children and others who don't have rides to come to Sundahchool and Vacation bible schools. We also have clothes closets – jut a few things churches could do. But, I understand your point – they need some oneto care, This will be my prayer.

  2. I lost my father when I was eleven. Dad died of cancer. So I experienced the heart achs and devastating effects described. However, I believe that churchs" main mission is to make clearthe teachings of Jesus Christ. Churches are not teaching(preaching) Jesus message. By following His teachings and examples and accepting Jesus as our personal savior all these other evils would be taken care of. Truly Sin is sinand when you choose to follow Jesus you choose not to choose sin. Maybe it is time to get back to that kind of teaching . Even so, we will still sin , but Jesus paid the price for that. I grew up with thee teachings ' , and was taught right from wrong, Maybe its time our churches got back to that, and hopefully the social issues will take care of themselves.

  3. Dear Ron;
    I love your article titled Without a Dad and I agree with you as to the devastating effects Fatherlessness has on individuals and our nation as a whole. However, in addition to helping fatherless children, the Church must also be the leader in insisting that we as a nation start at the beginning of the problem. The fatherless children is scripture were fatherless because their father had died which is an unavoidable situation. The fatherless children in America today are fatherless because of fornication (a sin) or divorce. (something which God says he hates) We have got to expose and attack the lies in our culture which says that sex before marriage, out of wedlock births, forming single parent families and divorce are okay. We have got to call sin the evil that it is and make no apologies for offending anyone because the word sin will always be offensive to a sinner. I go into detail about this and other relative issues in chapter five of my book titled One Test One Identity. Please go to onetestoneidentity.com. I hope you will get the book. I know you will find it interesting. Thank you and God Bless; P.S. Please pray for everyone who has been effected by the school shooting in Conn.

  4. As someone who has helped counsel couples pre-maritally, I wish we would put more effort into educating about marriage before (and during). That we would talk about what marriage means and what it doesn't. What God expects versus what the world (or even your average Christian expects). That we would pair up young couples with older, godly couples – I know so many young couples who will tell you that they've never seen a good marriage up close.

  5. I think we also need to pay some attention to those kids whose Dad's never left.They are in the house, they pay bills, they even cut the grass! When the time comes to personal time with the kids, they are no where to be seen. It's "me time" for them, they need to do something for themselves, to get away. Everything you listed above? All applies to them, and Dad is right there, sleeping away the kids' lives in a recliner.
    Twitter: bryankr

  6. This hits home. My two year old grandson is being raised by a single mother, my daughter-in-law. My son was killed by a reckless driver on drugs a little over a year and a half ago. Now, his mother lives with another young man. I don’t see any plan for them to marry because of the benefits she would lose. He seems like a good man, but what will that teach my grandson about marriage and commitment? Should we seek government reform of the benefits offered to young widows? What should the church do to emphasize family values in a situation like this? Am I the only one who thinks it strange that we put so much emphasis on gay marriage when there are so many heterosexual couples perfectly fine with just living together?
    Twitter: terry_cross

  7. This is my crusade: mentors for the fatherless. After 25 years of working as a consultant to divorce lawyers, I have watched the parade of children victimized by divorce with growing alarm. Now with more than one of every three kids of divorce having NO contact with their dads in more than a YEAR, the need is both emotional and financial. Dads who don't visit are less likely to pay child support.

    The church is double-minded about divorce and divorced people and single parents are generally greeted with something less than the love of Christ. These kids need someone to show them that God loves them. If we, the church, won't do it, who will?

    I am working to start a mentoring program for these kids at our church. Keep this effort in your prayers.

  8. I think of these things all the time and agree with your statements about the widows and orphans of today's society. Byron and I are just as passionate about that as the jail ministry (we had to choose a focus and a starting point). I've read that over 90% of men in prison didn't have dads in the home. It all relates. There have been many a time since my divorce that I have felt that my boys were definitely as risk. They are blessed to have Byron as a daily role model, but the hurt of the broken family still remains in some ways. I have so much to say on the matter because it is my heart, but I am not going to rant too much. Thanks for posting this.

  9. I think he’s right on the money! We need to be about teaching what God has to say marriage, not what the world likes about it. I am of the mind that we have tried to make up for lost time because of what we didn’t do before by trying not to offend the newer generation. We can’t! That time is done, it’s over! What we can do now is to teach this generation to forgive the “dead-beat” Dad, be more patient with the very angry Mother left behind. Giving of our own personal time to them that they might be able to see what it looks like, what it feels like, to be improtant enough to have time invested in them.
    Twitter: bryankr

  10. I think the church needs to be on the front end of this to prevent not just react.

    The church needs to be teaching couples to have stronger marriages. This is done by talking a lot about dating and marriage to students.

    Talking about finances and God's way of handling money with adults.

    Talking about marriage-centric family verses child-centric marriages.

    Talking about personal responsibility a lot. It wounds me me when I talk to people considering a 3rd or 4th divorce….it's always the person they married at fault. They don't realize they are the only common denominator in every failed marriage. Is saying that out load dangerous? Probably. Will it hurt someones feelings? Yes. But, we have to stop letting that keep us from speaking the truth in love.

    There will always be orphans and widows, we can't stop death. But, I truly believe we can do more…and must do more….to prevent the decay of the mom and dad family.