What do you do with pain? You’ve been injured. It wasn’t fatal, but it hurt. In this post, I’m talking about emotional pain. The fact is emotional pain often hurts more than physical pain. It certainly can last longer. All of us have experienced emotional pain. Some more than others.
What do you do with emotional pain?
You have options. Here are 5:
Rehearse – You can keep reminding yourself how much it hurt. You can go over and over again in your mind the people to blame. You can live the hurt repeatedly in your mind. The longer you do the longer it seems to hurt.
Repress – You can pretend it doesn’t hurt. With the right performance you can even convince people you’re okay…even yourself…for a while. But, deep inside, when the fake smile goes away and the pretend laugh goes away, it still hurts.
Resent – You can build a grudge. You can increase your anger towards others. But the depth of the grudge will be directly proportional to the depth of the pain and the time of recovery.
Repeat – You can hurt others because you were hurt. Get even at your next opportunity. Take out your hurts on another. But the emotional pain remains. It does.
Release – You can let go, admit it stinks, ask God to begin to restore your heart and allow you to begin again. Emotional healing is almost always a process that takes time. It may require outside help. It won’t be easy, but it begins with the intentionality to release the pain and move forward.
Choices…choices.
Which will you choose?
Obviously this is a simplistic approach to a very complex issue. But the principles are true. If you have serious emotional injury, get help. Don’t struggle alone. See your physician. See a counselor. Talk to a minister. (As a word of counsel, if it is serious emotional issues most ministers aren’t equipped to counsel through this. But, most can refer you to someone trained to help you.)
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Ron, Do you have any good books that you'd recommend relating to this subject? Thanks.
Although I don't read or recommend most of her stuff…not an opinion just not on my radar much…Joyce Myers has a good book on this. Beauty for Ashes: Receiving Emotional Healing
ready for # 5 – trying to decide whether better to go to stranger who does not know family and has no ties.
That's almost always the better option.
Makes it seem so easy to choose #5, though we are often hardwired for the others. What's your best advice on the "how" to do that? Maybe a future post.
Yea. Future post, but it begins with discipline towards an end goal. I want to be healthy. I know what that takes. I take that step. Thanks Skip
Right on Ron!! Such a helpful post. Pinning to my Pinterest board!
That's awesome. Thank you.
Those first four choices are the ones we try over and over again before coming to the fifth as a last resort Amd finding the peace we so desperately need. Thankyou!
I agree Helen. Thank you.