Will you hold me accountable?
People always ask me about my relationship with my boys and what I did to cultivate it. I have two amazing sons who I deeply love. I am certainly one of their biggest fans. Thankfully, I think they like me too. It is a privilege to have them continue to come to me for wisdom now that they are 20 and 17 years old.
Some reasons:
- I prayed for them daily
- We spent a lot of time together. I never missed a game, practice, or school event unless I was out of town.
- We threw, kicked, shot, and bounced a lot of balls
- We talked a ton
- I shared Biblical principles with them
- I extended lots of grace (They did with me too)
- I made sure they knew they always had my heart and my attention
- We had mucho fun! (We laughed a lot!)
Our relationship has changed over the last couple years. My boys have gotten older and I’ve gotten busier. Still, we very much enjoy being together as much as we allow ourselves the time.
Lately, something has apparently gotten in the way that wasn’t there when the boys were younger. I have always been an “A” type personality. People ask how I can balance so much, and honestly it’s just because I’m never still. That hasn’t changed. One thing has been added to my life though since the boys were younger. My Blackberry! Thankfully son number two is never afraid to call me on something. He loves to hold me accountable.
Recently he and I were going to breakfast together and when we arrived at the restaurant and were about to get out of the car the conversation went like this:
Nate: Are you going to take that (Blackberry) inside?
Me: I was planning on it.
Nate: Well can you not this time?
Me: Okay, but remember Nate, I am a pastor.
Nate: Yea, but you’re also a dad.
Okay, I’m slow, but I’m not that slow. I could argue that my family never leaves their phones in the car, but their argument would be that I receive 10 or more calls, texts, or emails every 30 minutes, so I left it in the car. My intent is to do a better job of putting it down when I have precious time with my family. Nate leaves for college in a few months. I want our time together to continue to count.
Will you hold me accountable? Periodically feel free to ask me how I’m doing.
How are you doing in this area?
I do understand this as well. I find myself going back and forth to the computer just to see if someone has left me an email. I do not have it on my phone and I am glad as I would probably have the same problem. I do know that this is a major problem with the kids that are coming up. We have a problem making it thru the meal without a text from my teenager. This has been a major struggle for us. I think it is nice to be able to get ahold of someone but I as well think it is important to have time without it. People have waited for a long time and they can now as well.
I identify with this one as a campus minister and self employed HVAC contractor my phone get’s in the way sometimes. I learned through time that the people on the other end will survive if they don’t catch me a couple times.
Blessings
Mike
crosscampusministry.com
I struggle a lot in this area. While I am so thrilled that I can check my email from my phone, it can also be a downfall. (I even checked during church on Sunday – Sorry!) I try hard not to even take it out of my pocket when we are out to dinner (and I plan on leaving it in the car during church now). Modern technology is a wonderful thing, but it can easily become an addiction. Someone suggested I give up blogging for lent. As you can see, that didn’t happen! Maybe next year.
I agree with Paul.
Jesus was not always *in the stream* of the crowds.
(…and there are times when instant access to a pastor can be detrimental to the sheep.)
My life sounds much simpler than yours but what pulls on me seems similar. I pray about my priorities.
Not only is it “OK” to set aside our toys from time to time. It is also “OK” to turn everything off that rings, buzzes, vibrates, sings, plays or otherwise distracts us from personal, quiet times…regardless of the role of our calling.