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7 Ways to Positively Influence Those Who Lead You

By March 22, 2022Church, Leadership

If you want to be successful in leadership long-term, you have to learn to “lead up” or, in other words, influence the people who lead you.

In ministry and business, I have typically surrounded myself with young leaders. Some who are 10, 15, even 25 years younger than me. I love the enthusiasm and creative minds of young leaders, and feel a certain calling to invest in the next generation of leaders. In church revitalization, however, I felt the need to surround myself with people my own age and older. It was a more established, structured church and the experience proved invaluable in an environment that wasn’t as receptive to change.

Regardless of the age or experience level of the staff I’m supposed to be leading, I try to remain open to my team leading me. They may be more in tune with the generation we are trying to lead. Many times they have more information about a certain subject. They may simply be better leaders in certain situations. As hard as I try to remain open to input, however, I’m certain there are times they wish they could lead me even more.

The question I often receive from readers of this blog is how to influence those who are supposed to lead you, especially when many times you may feel as though they don’t welcome your input. That is often true even though you sometimes have better ideas than they may have about an issue.

How can you gain influence over the people in leadership positions when they don’t seem open to or even value your input?

Here are 7 ways to positively influence those who lead you:

Give Respect

Granted, you may know more than the person leading you about an issue, but chances are he or she has experience you do not have. They are in this position for some reason. Even if you don’t agree with them being the leader, there is something to be gained simply from sitting where they sit. Everyone likes to be respected for their experience and position.

Keep in mind that some of your leader’s experiences may have been negative and may have prompted the style of leadership he or she provides now. Try to put yourself in your leader’s shoes. If you have any hope for the leader’s approval you will need to show that you respect the position of authority the person has in the organization.

I’m not pretending that will be easy, but it is vital to gaining the trust of the leader. Also, I’m not suggesting you falsely politic your way into the leader’s inner circle. I’m suggesting you humbly and genuinely respect the leader’s position.

Display Commitment

Be loyal. It’s such a rare occurrence to find loyalty today that it is refreshing to a leader when we find it. Granted, this isn’t “blind loyalty. You don’t have to compromise your integrity. But as much as possible, buy into the vision and the direction of the team and make your support known – in word and in action. It will impress those around you and the leader.

Work Smart

Do good work. Simply stated, have a good work ethic. Produce more than expected. You don’t have to sacrifice your family to do this, but you may have to get more disciplined in how you do work.

Again, in my experience, it appears rarer today that someone tries to do more than is required of them. When a leader spots someone willing to go the extra mile they gain approval and recognition.

Extend Kindness –

This is a general principle when working with others, but especially true in this situation. If you aren’t likable to the leader, he or she isn’t likely to respond likewise. Have you ever heard, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”? That works when trying to gain the favor of a leader too. Even if the leader is unkind at times, attempt to win him or her over with kindness. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1)

Acknowledge Contributions –

Recognize the leader’s previous and current contribution to the organization, as well as his or her wisdom. Even if you genuinely respect a leader, he or she isn’t likely to know or appreciate that respect until you let them know. When a leader feels appreciated for their previous efforts, he or she is less likely to feel threatened and more likely to welcome input into future decisions.

Ask Good Questions –

Request the leader’s input and help…even if you don’t necessarily need it. It will show you value them. The best leaders gain insight from lots of different sources. Model this for the ones who are leading you. You may not see the relevance of their insight right now, but they may actually surprise you and add something from their experience that you haven’t thought of or been exposed to yet.

Find Ways to Partner

There will always be areas of common connection. Even if there is a significant age gap or different paradigms of life, there will be things you have in common. That’s part of all networking and team-building.

I see many younger leaders who only want to hang out with younger leaders, and vice-versa for the older leaders. This will never bridge the generational gap and isn’t healthy for the organization. It certainly won’t help you lead up to be exclusive with whom you associate on the team.

Closing thoughts

Personally, I understand the frustration of being part of a team and not feeling you have the freedom to share your opinions or the opportunity to help shape the future of the organization. I have been there – even recently. True leaders never last long in that type of environment. There are certainly leaders who will never be open to your input. I recommend discovering this early and not wasting much time battling that type of insecure leader.

Some leaders are toxic and you’ll waste a lot of time trying to satisfy them or gain influence with them. (Listen to my podcast on this issue.) The sooner you discover this the sooner you can work to find yourself in a healthier environment.

With most leaders, however, if approached in the right way, you can earn their respect enough that they welcome you to have a voice at the table. You may even help them be a better leader. I know my teams have always done that for me. Most leaders over time can begin to see you as more of a helper than a hindrance to their personal success and the health of the overall vision and team. Try these approaches and see if they help your situation.

Hey, check out my leadership podcast where we try to provide quick, helpful applications. Also, I’d love to hear if you are enjoying it and any topics you would like us to cover. Plus, check out the other Lifeway Leadership Podcasts.

Ron Edmondson

Author Ron Edmondson

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Join the discussion 2 Comments

  • Jim Pemberton says:

    Definitely do these things. You want to be in a position where your boss respects your opinion if you are going to lead up. If your boss has a boss, he is often going to want to look good to his boss. If your boss is the top dog, he has a vision that is driving him that he wants to serve. Pay attention to what your boss wants. You aren't going to lead up in opposition to that. But if your boss is doing things that don't serve his own goals, then that's your opportunity to lead up.

    A common way to do this is to bite your own pride and help him work through an idea that he can take credit for. It might be your idea. Let him think it's his. Many bosses have a contrarian streak and might not like your idea because it isn't theirs. I'm a terrible salesman and couldn't sell water in a desert. I'm certainly not going to sell my idea to my boss. But if I can ask the right questions and propose multiple solutions, he often arrives at the right conclusion in a way that he thinks is his. You give the boss options and work out the outcomes with likely benefits and drawbacks for each. Don't cloud or color these to make your choice seem the best. Just give it to him straight. He gets to own it if he gets to choose it. That means the risk as well as the benefit is his. This is often part of leading up.