This is a guest post by the makers of Ever Accountable. I agreed to this post, because as a pastor I have witnessed the destruction pornography can have on a person’s life…and on marriages. I’ve addressed this issue before in the post “I Could Battle an Addiction” and “Addressing a Porn Generation“.
Pornography Accountability
Pornography addiction comes with a heavy price, whether you’re single or in a committed relationship. The American Family Association (AFA) says that pornography “promotes physical satisfaction without love, sex without responsibility, union without obligation for the consequences, and exercise of privilege with no regard to the eternal consequences originally designed to accompany it” (afa.net). While a pornography addiction deteriorates trust between people, perhaps more troubling is how it slowly rots the individual from the inside, causing them to question their own self-worth and their relationship to God.
God tells us in Romans 6:12, “Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof.” Dr. Victor Cline, a specialist in treating sex addictions, offers information that is helpful in understanding this Romans verse. He notes that what starts as casual viewing of pornography can eventually lead to an escalation of more hard-core, aberrant material. This naturally leads to deviant sexual acts. Dr. Cline says pornography addiction, “like a cancer” will continue to grow and spread. The cancer “rarely ever reverses itself, and it is also very difficult to treat and heal. Denial on the part of the male addict and refusal to confront the problem are typical and predictable, and this almost always leads to marital or couple disharmony ” (Familyindex.net). As the Romans passage admonishes, a pornography addiction must be confronted before it spreads and has more power over an individual than God.
Overcoming this addiction can take an enormous amount of courage and fortitude. Focus on the Family, an online support network, says “Experts believe that a pornography addiction may be harder to break that a heroin addiction” (focusonthefamily.com). Yet a life free of the pornography burden is possible—and help getting there is crucial. Websites like FocusontheFamily.org and ThroughtheFlame.org offer online support through member forums, free counseling, and available resources. Locally, church leaders can offer prayer, guidance, and encouragement without judgment. What most pornography addiction websites, forums, blogs, journals, and experts tend to agree on, is that asking for help is crucial.
Addicts must disclose their burden to people they trust in order to live above pornography. AFA reminds us of Jesus’ teachings, that “We are our brother’s keeper. In fact, we are accountable to each other” (afa.net). Dr. Cline, also, agrees: “A commitment made to yourself can easily be broken. But when you make a commitment to another person who loves you and who cares deeply for you, there is an increased incentive to change right now” (familyindex.net).
Another valuable tool toward accountability and support are mobile phone accountability apps, such as Ever Accountable (www.EverAccountable.com). They provide support through monitoring online behavior and sending accountability reports to trusted family members and friends, rather than just blocking sites. The idea behind Ever Accountable was to metaphorically “keep the computer facing the room” where other people contribute to an individual’s sobriety by simply being present. Apps like this one are encouraging and offering new solutions to those struggling with addiction.
If you are struggling with pornography, get help now.
(I am not claiming this app will solve your problem. It is one option. I do suspect, however, that if you continue to try on your own to battle your addiction, you’ll keep having the same results.)
Enjoyed the guest post but my experience in helping pornography addicts has shown me that filters rarely work. There are just too many alternatives. Instead, those struggling with pornography need to learn how to deal with the temptation directly. My book, Power Over Pornography: The Proven Solution to Overcoming Pornography Addiction presents an alternative approach that works.
Great thoughts here. Focus on the Family author Rob Jackson also recommends Internet accountability tools. He says, "Internet filters are effective, but not perfect. For children and adolescents, a combination of a filter and an accountability web application like Covenant Eyes is better." (http://www.focusonthefamily.com/lifechallenges/love_and_sex/pornography/how_to_confront_children_using_pornography.aspx)
Thanks for the resources.
If you're interested in reviewing Covenant Eyes, let me know! I'd be happy to set you up.
I've actually used that for several years and am the accountability for several people. Good resource.
Here's a fantastic link that could further support this incredible post and has helped me and scores of others that have struggled with pornography and any other afflictions as well. I hope and pray that this link will be a blessing to anyone that checks it out! God bless you and thanks for sharing the impact and ramifications of pornography!
http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/
Awesome. Thanks for sharing!