Cheryl and I were driving in Nashville today and she said, “Speed limit strictly enforced” as she read a sign on the roadside. I knew what she meant. She thought I was driving too fast. I Twittered this and got several comments on Twitter and Facebook from other women regarding their own tactics to subtly tell their husband they are driving too fast.
Here are some comments Cheryl has used before:
“Wow, I didn’t know the speed limit was 35 here.”
“They must really be strict about speeding on this road, because I’ve seen several people pulled over lately.”
“I wonder how much speeding tickets are now.”
“I’ve noticed Jeremy (our son) sure has been driving fast lately. I don’t know where he gets that from.”
“We don’t ever get to just talk. Let’s just slow down today, take it easy, and catch up.” (Okay, she hasn’t actually used that one, but it’s only because she hasn’t thought of it yet.)
So my question is: Why not just say, “YOU ARE DRIVING TOO FAST YOU IDIOT!”? I think I’d understand that one better. When talking to men, it’s best to be direct. They may get mad at first, but that’s the way we handle things. (For more on this subject, read my post “My Right to Get Angry/Your Right to Cry”)
Women, what tactics do you have to get your man to slow down? (or speed up as the case may be)
I use these words: "Would you slow down please?" I use them even if he isn't driving over the limit, but is driving too fast for my comfort. Also, we live in an area where we go between towns on highways, but have to slow down for the towns. If the speed limit changes, and he doesn't appear to be slowing down, I just say "60" (for example) or for the one town nearby where he always seems to miss the sign, "It's 70 here." (Those are speed limits in kilometres per hour by the way.)
I like cheryl's approach better. But I tend to use yours. Sometimes the boys tell him he drives crazy, or better yet, they tell him that mommy is a better driver. That usually gets his attention;-)
Ha! funny boys!
Twitter: mrsmilton0304
says:
I tell Larry if you speed and get a ticket our insurance will go up and I will be very unhappy paying that increased bill. Pretty blunt I guess.
Well, you get your point across. Does he listen?
It's true. It's one thing between dudes to say to each other that we're driving too fast. but it's another thing when it's a woman. If it's too direct, it seems nagging/mommying/controlling.
It's a little better to say "I'm a little uncomfortable when we go this fast." Or, reference the law/speeding tickets/ etc. The first tactic reminds the man of his responsibility as a husband to his wife to take care of her and make sure she feels safe with him. The second tactic reminds him of his responsibilities as a man, and the consequences of his actions.
For me personally, I find that if I'm driving with someone I like, I drive at or under the limit, because I want to have as much time with him/her as possible. =)
That's funny!
Ron you are a brave brave man, did the copy editor see what you wrote first?
Ha! of course not!
Okay, I'm single, but if someone is driving too fast for my comfort, I tell them to slow down soon because I want to show them something cool. Something cool can include almost anything and makes for good conversation. If that doesn't work, I close my eyes and pretend to sleep.
That's good Robyn. Thanks
men say it’s best to be direct. but they dont want that. when i say you are driving too fast not only do i feel like a bitch but he whines and cries about how i’m bitching at him.
I’m with Cheryl on this one. I do this to avoid sounding like a nag. I’ve probably used all of Cheryl’s lines, and I also like to say, “Do you know what the speed limit is here? I haven’t seen a sign in a long time.”
When John is driving, I sit with my right foot pegged to the back floorboard as if I have a peddal too. He sees my leg muscle straighten out and My whole body tighten up when I think he needs to slow down, usually when we are coming up on traffic.
I’m usually the one driving too fast! hahaha Hey I tagged you on my blog to tell 6 random things about you… try it, it’s fun! 🙂
The one I used this past Sunday on the way to Church was “are you driving 45”. He assured me that he was but I was told by the passanger that he was not. He slowed down. We do have several places here that is strictly enforced. We have been stopped for speeding on the way to Church because we were talking and I didn’t say something about the speed. I remind Jon of that a lot of the times when he complains. I try not to say something when we are driving too slow. Cheryl seems to be wonderful at telling you nicely that you need to slow down.