7 Damaging Sins Which Can Cripple Every Marriage

By December 1, 2015Christians, Marriage

Did you know there are sins which can cripple every marriage?

Yes. There are.

You realize there are no perfect marriages because there are no perfect people.

Right?

Let me repeat that.

There are no perfect marriages because there are no perfect people.

Every marriage will have seasons which are more difficult than others. I often encounter couples in our church who think they are unique. Because we tend to put on our happy faces at church, they believe theirs is the only marriage in a bad season.

In fact, I’m convinced not understanding how many couples have weathered through these rocky places in marriage may be a reason many couples give up on their marriage. If they understood how normal they are they might be more willing to raise the white flag – ask for help – and work to restore the marriage.

I have observed over the years there are some issues in marriages which, if not addressed, can be crippling to the marriage. These are the “biggies”. They may manifest themselves in other ways, but if you could trace back to the origin you would find these to be at fault.

And, let’s not sugarcoat. They are sins. And, we have all sinned. And, we all sin. Every marriage is comprised of two sinners.

And, this is the real reason there are no perfect marriages.

Left to fester on their own, these sins will eventually be the destroyer of the marriage or certainly keep it from achieving the oneness God commanded.

So, what are these damaging sins? I’m glad you asked.

Here are 7 damaging sins which can cripple every marriage:

Selfishness – Marriage won’t work without mutual submission. Read Ephesians 5:21. Marriage is not a 50/50 arrangement. Ideally it’s to be a 100/100 bond – where both spouses willingly yield their all. (And, I used the word ideal, because your marriage is not there and neither is mine.) When one spouse demands their way or will never work towards a compromise the relationship can never be all it should be. One person is happy – the one who got their way – the other is miserable.

Discontentment – I’ve said before – boredom is perhaps the number one destroyer of marriage. There will be seasons in every relationship which aren’t as “exciting” as others. Some days you will “feel” more in love than other days. But, the key to a long-term relationship is a commitment beyond emotion.

Pride – When one spouse can never admit they are wrong or see their own flaws it opens the door for a wedge of bitterness in the other spouse. Pride is also destructive when the couple is too proud to admit their struggles or get the help they need.

Unforgiveness – Holding on to past hurts not only damages the marriage bond it destroys the person who refuses to forgive. Trust can’t be developed until forgiveness is granted. And, isn’t grace received expected to be extended?

Anger – The Scripture is clear – we should not go to bed in anger. And, there is a reason. Anger is a wedge – one which only grows wider when not dealt with over time.

Complacency – As soon as you think you’re marriage is above the problems of other relationships you’re in trouble. The enemy loves to attack the unaware.

Coveting – Couples who compare themselves to other couples will almost always be disappointed. There will always be people with more – and it likely isn’t making them as happy as you think it does. And, keep in mind, many times people disguise their struggles well. The couple you think has it all may wish they had what you have. Every couple is unique. Comparison only leads to frustration.

Ask yourself this question: Which of these is most prevalent in my marriage today? Which is causing the greatest harm? Which of these, while it may not be an issue today, could be if we don’t get serious about it soon?

Be honest with yourself — and ultimately — with your spouse.

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Ron Edmondson

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Join the discussion 12 Comments

  • charles says:

    Very inspirational and cure to the damaged marriages.stay blessed

  • Lynn McIntosh says:

    Thank you, Ron,..I would also like to add abuse, every type. It is the most distroying thing there is especially if it is like what they call gaslighting. It is terrible and debilitating but I have learned from years experience that God can teach us our dignity isn't really that important, and even reputation but our testimony. And relationship with God,…I Finally stood realized what was happening and I'm standing up . I wouldn't know what life would be like if God hadn't been with me. There are good one boys and don't believe women about this.. I am a very very loyal person and have gone to much counseling, we need to listen, because It was very hard for me to talk against him by everything I've ever been taught about family, and through my Bible. I didn't want to end up like Hamm! But growing up, it was an important boundary that we kept each other accountable within the family With love and security, but I had never experienced public humiliation by my own husband' like I was experienceing after marriage. I just praise God He stayed with me through our it all. There are even people in ministry who are trying to hurt me because I finally stood up for all of us. It's terrible to hear your story almost preached, except all the facts are wrong! I heard words I was jealous (?!) never! When I read Eccl, 4:4 God took any jealously I had and threw it in the floor in pieces. Never again. And I also heard I was resentful?! No! I' love God so much I would feel so guilty to Him if I felt resentful. No that's like jealously! Then what made me feel the worse was I heard I WAS ANGRY AT GOD!! NO! I've never been angry with God. Never! He made us! Everything to enjoy in life, children, babies, 100 colors of green outside in my yard, but it upset me terribly, for what He has done for me throughout my life, I don't deserve it, but God sent his son so that we would be free in Him. I am looking to be free to worship Him again without feeling mocked by my husband or his family. It has been said and I read a reference to adultery! Never! I've never thought of this because I am loyal to the maximum. Not interested! I have looked to a few "fathers for prayer". Elders according to James five. It is out of the question..I feel I've ruffled fathers but the good old boys are trying to hurt me here in my city. I am praying fort all of them. It is terrible. They hacked my email also! Thank you for all the uplifting posts. Sorry to post such emotion bit I'll stand up for God and what He means to me. That's too important to me. I would never be angry at Him!! Praying for my own emotions with the false information, by ill gotten gain, I've felt so scared the past few months. Paralyzed by This happening now. I would love to ask who is spreading gossip and falsehoods and where they heard this and how they heard it ? I am sorry to bother you, Thank you again. Could you maybe take this down in a few minutes? Because I know the spirit is going to convict me soon….and I'm glad It (He)does. … Thank you very kindly. If you can find out where and how my favorite ministers may know this? I'm very upset about that.

    that someone eluded to that possibly about me. to do not know how people can

    • ronedmondson says:

      I'm so sorry you are hurting. Your emotions seem like natural reactions to hurt. I don't know your ministers – that I'm aware of – but, I'm praying for you now. Thanks for holding on to your faith.
      Twitter: Ronedmondson

  • Diana Garvey says:

    That was fine to share. Earlier I meant to tell you that when my husband, Ron & I return from early church & S.S. at Sand Spring Baptist Church I usually watch your service on the television or Walnut Street. Sometimes we leave church & go out to eat. On those days I don't hear your message. May God continue to bless your ministry! Tell your wife hello. Blessings!!!

  • Diana Garvey says:

    It is 4:45 am. & I guess since I have been awake most of the night I meant to say that I had three beautiful granddaughters, not four as I accidentally wrote above. My husband & I are going to be great-grandparents next June , but we don't know if it is a girl or boy. Please excuse my mistakes in writing. Thanks!

  • Diana Garvey says:

    Great message on marriage! December 17th, 2015 my husband & I will be married 52 yrs. When we married he was 19 yrs. old & I was 16 yrs. old. We are not perfect people just as you said. The first two years of our marriage were tough at times. My husband was a farmer & I was raised primarily in the city. My father died when I was a young girl & I was being raised by a wonderful Christian mother. When we met I fell in love immediately with his blue eyes. Years later while we were in Training Union which is now called Discipleship Training our teacher at the time asked who served in the military. My husband spoke up & said that he didn't serve in the military, but that the first two yrs. of our marriage was equivalent to serving because we fought (disagreed) often. While dating one time & driving in the country during fall I noticed what I thought was teepees in the field. I really thought we were passing an Indian reservation. It was hay gathered in a shock.To this day my husband never lets me live that down. We started out on his grandfather's farm, but then left & he got a job in the city. I found out soon that you can't take the country out of a country boy. To make a long story short he ended up working for 34 yrs. for Delta Air Lines. We purchased a farm & raised fifty acres of tobacco. He drove back & forth around 50 miles each way. I was just a housewife & mother of two wonderful children. My mother ended up living with us. She was living next door, but moved in with us. What a blessing she was when our children came along. Most of the time things were fine, but at times we would butt heads. My mother felt like my husband, Ron could do no wrong. He was the son she didn't have. As far as getting along they got along great & she lived with us till she died at age eighty-seven. I am not a writer so I will try to make a long story short. Marriage takes work & it takes both parties. I have & will always say that I believe the Lord brought us together. We have loved, laughed, worked on the farm & cried together. Even with our differences we have tried to put Christ at the center of our marriage. We both have a loving family. When Ron retired we decided to move closer to our children. Needless to say our toughest trial came when he retired & we moved. He retired in April, 2000, we moved away from the farm, family & friends to a new area. That same year in December our thirty year-old son died. Then next year 911 took place & my mother died in November. At times my husband & I may still disagree, but I wouldn't trade him for anything & I believe he would say the same thing if asked. He is 71 yrs. old now & I am 68 years. Our faith has sustained us through the good times & the difficult seasons of our lives. As scripture tells us our lives are like a vapor, here & then gone. We have four beautiful granddaughters & one handsome grandson & grandson-in-law. We couldn't be ,ore proud of each one of them. If the Lord calls me home I have the assurance that I will see them again. Each one has a personal relationship with our Lord & Savior, Jesus Christ. Two of the young ladies have gone on mission trips. One went to Central Asia for 6 months, one went to Africa for several weeks & they all are a witness for the Lord. I give God all the glory for providing us with our many blessings. A relationship with Christ, loving family & friends. We are an imperfect people with a savior that loves us so much. Thanking God for sending his only son, Jesus to the earth to shed his blood on an old rugged cross to save us from our sins. Without Jesus I can do nothing, but with him all things are possible even a marriage that has lasted for 52 yrs. on Thursday, December 17th. Blessings!!!!

  • […] 7 Damaging Sins Which Can Cripple Every Marriage by Ron Edmondson […]

  • Alex says:

    Hey Ron,
    Great post, yet again! One of my favorite topics – marriage. In over 27 years of marriage and 30 years of ministry experience, my wife and I have seen "most" problems in marriages. These 7 are crucial, though there are still a couple more (or a few more) that could be listed, but these are the main ones. Discontentment and Complacency are big destroyers of marriages. They lead to all sorts of destructive behaviors.

    Early one, my wife and I realized that though our marriage was strong, yet we were not exempt from any of these sins. Thus the reason for us doing our yearly marriage and family vision, which I provide in my blog now.

    It's heart breaking to see marriages and families struggle with issues that could easily be corrected in light of scripture even within our current cultural conditions..

    Thanks again for a great post. I need to keep these 7 sins on a file for later use and talk about them in my per-marital counseling sessions ;-). Better yet – send them to your blog 😉

  • Susie says:

    I worry about my son's relationship with his wife. He stays at home with the new baby during the day while she works. She comes home and he wants to take a nap before he goes to work at night until 12:00 a.m. When he comes home he says it takes him a couple of hours to wind down, so he goes to bed at !:30 am. He tries to get up with his wife at 6:00 am when she gets ready for work to help her with the baby. The problem is he says, that if he sleeps in in the morning or wants to take a nap before he has to go to work, his wife gets very angry, cries and yells at him in front of the baby, She says he does nothing, tells him to give her HER baby and tells him she can do it all without him. He says it breaks his heart. She was a single mother for many years. Her childs father did nothing to help in the home due to the culture in which she grew up. The man worked and the wife did everything else including work. My heart goes out to them both. My son says he will keep trying to communicate with her, but I sense he is getting frustrated. He needs rest and so does she, but he says when he offers her the opportunity to rest, she won't take it. Please pray for them they have been married almost a year and the baby is 8 months old.

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