Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you. Exodus 20:12 NIV
To honor means to respect and to appreciate, but actually goes much deeper as well. It means to add reputation to or to increase another’s value. When you are to honor your parents, it means so much more than to obey. That is to increase their good name by having one of your own.
What is it like to call you a son or daughter? Can someone be proud of you? I’m not talking about that love a mother or father naturally has for a child. I’m talking about bragging rights, and not about accomplishments either. I remember attending one of my son’s elementary school parent-teacher conferences. I was filled with joy as the teacher showed us paper after paper with 100 or A+ on it. Both my boys have done so well in school academically, but I may have been the only parent that night to ask the questions of my son’s teacher, “What about his character? Does he get along with others? Does he show compassion? Does he strive to make friends with his classmates?” And I even asked her, “Can you tell that he is a believer?” Praise God, I had something to brag about!
Isn’t that what we should aim for: to have a reputation of being like Christ? Is that a noble goal? Could you see this as a necessary part of any parent’s plan for their child’s future? In this all-for-me world, shouldn’t we focus a little more on character?
I praise God often for granting me the privilege of being raised in a Christian family. Both sides of my parents have a long history of being active in church, loving God, and serving Him faithfully. What will I contribute to that legacy? Will it continue or end with me?
You too have an awesome responsibility! Your actions and your heart will determine what is said about your children and your children’s children for generations to come. You are deciding now, based on the way you live your life, what the future will be like for your descendents. The Bible states over and over again that blessings are passed on by generations, as are the curses of God. Which are you leaving behind?
If your reputation was being built on just the last week, last month, or last year, what would it say about you? Would it honor your mother and father? Would it add to the value of your name?
This fifth commandment is a tough one if we strive to live up to it. By the grace of God, may we accomplish His will as we live our lives, striving to be like Him, and create in our hearts a desire to make Him Lord of everything? Your reputation is at stake! And the honor of your mother and father!
Teri, I think that’s right. I think you can honor someone who isn’t honorable through grace. Jesus does it for us all the time. By living lives worth honoring, we honor our parents, even if our parents aren’t always honorable. Understanding, of course, that there are far more parents truly deserving of that honoring, but completely understanding of your original point.
So you honor them by giving/rebuilding the the family name by becoming what they should have been? You are giving respect to the position (parent) rather than the person… more or less? Redeeming…
Ron…I have loved this 10 commandments series and find myself looking forward to it everyday! This one blew me away! Thank you for challenging me and convicting me with Scripture every single day!
Teri, again, great question, but I think this one is easier to answer. You can honor someone without agreeing with them. If you go with just the honoring idea of adding value to their name, if someone is a lousy parent, by doing the right thing in your own life, you help reverse the generational “curse” and build a legacy others can follow. By doing so, you add value to the name, the heritage, that you are a part of by birth. Make sense?
How do you present this to people who have abusive parents?
I know someone who struggles with this because their father was horrible person. There is nothing there to respect or appreciate.
I don’t know how to get around this one.