The Church Nazi


This is a light-hearted post. Sometimes you’ve just got to laugh.

I repeat…especially for the most literal readers…this is a light-hearted post.

I watched the infamous “Soup Nazi” Seinfeld episode recently for the however many times (many) and still loved it as much as the first time. It’s no doubt created an iconic phrase… “No soup for you”.

I got to thinking.

What if there was a Church Nazi?

Nothing placed in the offering plate…

No seat for you

Cell phone rings during service…

No seat for you

Eyes open during prayer…

No seat for you

Yawning during the message…

No seat for you

Complain about the order of worship…

No seat for you

Enter the service late…

No seat for you

Laugh at an inappropriate time…

No seat for you

Leave during the invitation…

No seat for you

Sing out of tune…

No seat for you

Rattle paper unwrapping gum…

No seat for you

Thankfully there is no Church Nazi, but you get the idea.

How else would Church Nazi be offended?

(Again, this post is just for fun. None of these could really ever happen. Right?).

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14 thoughts on “The Church Nazi

  1. That episode still makes me laugh! I remember it well.

    –check fantasy team—no seat for you
    –don't open the Bible during the sermon–no seat for you

  2. — Small babies crying during the service. ……. No seat for you.
    — Raising uncomfortable but genuine concerns during church committee meeting……. No seat for you.
    — Not participating in the church outreach activities……………. No seat for you.

  3. Thank you Ron for the light funny stuff. A great day to start off.Lots of blessing to you. Have a great day!

  4. Good one Ron! It looks like I may not have a seat this coming Sunday but at least I never yawn during the message (at least not intentionally!). I needed a good laugh today and you gave it to me… thanks! Take care brother and keep sharing your god-given gift of writing!

      • Well, must be honest here… late to service (but usually have good excuse, hate to leave my men's fellowship class); singing out of tune (just ask everyone around me); rattle paper (not gum, usually mints but after drinking coffee in Sunday School… it's much needed)! It's good to know that we serve such an awesomel God! A God of love, a God of justice, and a God with a sense of humor!

        • I love the picture of God laughing. Like I'm doing now. Thanks.Seriously hoping during my time at Immanuel we can truly embrace the fullness of God.
          Twitter: Ronedmondson