A couple of young guys made an appointment and came to my office recently to pitch me an idea for a new ministry they hope to start. They had been told I have a passion to empower people to follow their dreams and callings. I instantly loved their heart and the new ministry, but what intrigued me was how nervous they were making the presentation. I understand, because any kind of presentation like can be nerve-racking, and we are a large church, but I’m also their pastor. It made me wonder if I had ever done anything to make them nervous about approaching me. I concluded that it was just the situation, and not our relationship, but it caused a healthy reflection for me for other areas of my leadership.
It forced me to ask how the people on our staff…the people I work with everyday…the ones I call a “team” feel about approaching me with an idea, an issue, or even a criticism or concern. That’s one reason I periodically ask our team this question as part of an annual evaluation process. (Read about that process HERE.)
In my opinion, if you are a leader, the way the people you lead approach you says much about the quality of that leadership.
Here are 7 questions to consider about the way people approach you as a leader:
- Do they feel the need to gather support from others before they approach you?
- Have they begun to expect an immediate “no” answer?
- Are they overly and obviously nervous during the approach?
- Do they lose sleep the night before talking to you?
- Do they make a dozen disclaimers before they tell you what they have to say?
- Do they only tell you part of the story?
- Do they think they have to barter with you for your support?
Granted, there will always be tension when approaching “the boss”, but one of our roles as leaders should be to level the playing field enough and build healthy relationships with the people we lead so they are comfortable approaching us when needed. It provides accountability, healthy environments, and keeps us from becoming egotistical.
Reminder: That type relationship doesn’t develop overnight or simply by telling people not to be nervous. It develops over a season where trust is earned and respect is warranted.
Are there any other questions you would add to my list?
(Don’t be afraid or nervous to add to my questions…)
This is a really great article, but it's sad that it has to be written at all… how did we come to this place? The place where people are scared to talk to other Believers, regardless of their function in the Body?
I'll be honest: we've created a monster, he's running loose & our name is Frankenstein…
Overseeing is not the same as overlording; not every decision regarding the flock has to be run by the pastoral function for their approval. If God places something on someone's heart, the pastoral function (along w/ rest of the functions) should find a place for it. There's no place in the Bible, anywhere, that states that the pastoral function is elevated above all the other functions & has the final say.
Many unbelievers can't tell the difference between the church & corporate America, what does that tell you? It tells me we've done an awesome job of conforming to the world, while thinking we're transforming it, while thinking we're in it & not of it, but we've patterned ourselves after it…
Just like the monster gave Frankenstein a bad name, so this monster is giving the Church a bad name. This article saddens, sickens & angers me; I'm not sure what the answer is other than restructure the structure & level the playing field by not elevating pastors, by making them more approachable, etc…
Great word and reminder. I totally agree.
Do they beat around the bush whenever communicating with you?
Do they keep the conversation too professional and avoid personal feel to the dialogue?
Those are great questions.
Do they approach you at all or feel there is no point or no solution? That’s pretty much the worst. Keeping the lines of communication open is a constant struggle that makes marriage seem easy for me. And I have yet to figure out the expectations of women in business. I walk a fine line…
That's good Kris. Thanks
Do they feel that you will give them your undevided attention? Will you disconnect from Twitter, Email, and phone calls long enough to hear and focus on them?
This is one I experienced just last night. Do they wait so long to approach you that the issue is mute or much more complicated to amend?