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3 Things that Make a Christian Unhappy

Whenever I see people (or myself) in a pity-party because of the situations or circumstances around them, I’ve learned it’s often because of one of three things. I’m sure there are many other reasons, but these three tend to pop up the most:

Living by the law – The fact is that I see people put unbearable standards on themselves and when they don’t measure up to them, they feel defeated, like a failure, unworthy, or even unloved. The law sets us up for failure. The primary purpose of the law was to show us that we couldn’t live up to God’s standard on our own and point out for us why we needed a Savior. Living by the law keeps us from the freedom, joy and peace Christ died for us to have.

Not realizing truth – The truth is that “if the Son has set you free you are free indeed”. The truth is that “greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world”. The truth is He has numbered the hairs on my head. The truth is we live by faith, not by sight. The truth is He will never leave us or forsake us. The truth is “no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind can conceive” what God has planned for His children. (And, so much more.) When we fail to realize the truths of God’s Word it keeps us from living in the freedom, joy and peace God intends for us to have.

Refusing to forgive – Every time I speak about forgiveness people rise up with stories of abuse, neglect, hurt and pain. There are some wounded people in the world. While I am sensitive to the injuries, I’m reminded that as forgiven people we are to be people who forgive. That is not granting people a license to injure us more, but it is freeing our hearts from the bondage of an unforgiving spirit. Whether we are angry at God, at others, or at ourselves, extending forgiveness frees us to live the peaceful, joyful, unbridled life God intended for His children. When we hold onto pain instead of forgiveness, we block the freedom, peace and joy a believer is designed to experience.

I believe that working through these three issues can help us live with freedom, joy and peace, and even live happily, all while residing in a very mixed up world.  I realize using a term such as “unhappy” creates immediate tension for some. You don’t have to be “happy” when life falls apart around you, you see friends or family suffering, or at the tragedies of the day. Those don’t have to make you happy, but for the believer, there is always a reason to work through those negative emotions that naturally come and remind ourselves of the state of freedom, joy and peace that God provides…in the midst of suffering. I don’t know about you…but when I do that process…it makes me very happy!

Which of these is keeping you from experiencing all God has for you?

(Feel free to debate with me the difference in joy and happiness on this post. While not the purpose of this post, I welcome the discussion.)

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Ron Edmondson

Author Ron Edmondson

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Join the discussion 21 Comments

  • Elaine says:

    I am unhappy because my leaders don't mind me working hard for them but when my daughter recently had septiceamia she received no visitors from the Church in the 4 days she was in hospital. The hospital is 35 mins away from my Church. Often I get pictures or words or knowledge through the Holy Spirit and so far Thanks to Jesus I have been 100% right. My leaders were happy. However when I got 3 visions (videos in my head) indicating there is something wrong in the Church they really weren't interested. I am apparently demon focused whereas scriptually the enemy prowls round waiting to devour us.Nobody is told about the enemy as they arent ready. I have a website which shows only positive prophetic pictures that myself and other people have received and painted. I have had 1,500 views in a year and Nicky Gumbel and Justin Welby are following me on twitter because of it. My Church however does not want to be linked with it. The Leaders comment on telling her about Nicky and Justin was 'why would anybody want to follow you'. Full of resentment towards my Church but I feel God wants me to stay. Cant think why and now feel really trapped. I have acted with a sincere and God centered heart and seemed to be in a battle with the people that should be supporting me. The Church has a membership of around 85 people.

  • rev_hydrogen says:

    Reply to Part 2. Not Realizing Truth…
    I think to say we live by faith (of something unseen) is a lie.
    Faith in sincerity is… That I will have a job when I go to work,
    …That the sun will rise tomorrow.
    Your concept of faith is thus a mixed bag of your own continuity
    as above mixed with a whopping lump of imagination (that you are saved,
    etc. etc.). This mechanism has evolved in humans as a way of ensuring day to day sanity. (more-like insanity). Here religion is used as a way of transferring
    the responsibility to self analyse the reflective self which is painful and difficult for most unaware of the above. – Religion relieving and removing the responsibility of the self to arrive at a reasonable cosmology. The individual free to continue scott free without having to face actuality… in a form of limited consciousness…not fully awake.

    With due respect to your age, the truths you cite are all imagination…
    Instead these are attributes and intent of a creator you have never met personally. They have not been perceived by You of the natural world
    and remain as concepts that have been explained or shown to you by others. They represent the collective view of the concept of God.
    Fact is that individuals sharing a collective view gain evolutionary advantage for mating etc. as well as a psychological advantage.
    The tribal instinct to belong to belong socially is very strong.
    So we see that faith is not imagination.
    Faith is not the unseen. Faith is self knowledge that is generated internally, NOT possibly properly generated by accepting anyone else's collective or individual view. We either face or do not face our responsibility to think for ourself. The fact (truth) is… You have no idea of the intent of the creator.
    and there can be only one truth in this matter)
    Christians/Muslim will tell us in great depth and detail about God,
    yet they have no idea, (even as a collective) about Who or what they are.
    As a modern mystic and ex scientist, I profess to know much about the workings and make up of myself (and you), but know very little about God.
    Someone here is cheating about knowing God.

  • rev_hydrogen says:

    Hey Ron,
    Greetings from New Zealand.
    My answer to this blog in 3 parts.
    Happy to discuss.
    About this post… albeit 139 weeks later

    Part1. Living by the Law.
    As you say the law sets believers up for failure.
    And in short this a major reasons why they are unhappy.
    Because people are not living their belief.
    And they have done a deal where they must live with this lie until
    they die. (Since they cannot give up their belief.) While the superficial
    ego can be forever fooled, our spirit agency cannot be fooled and the
    conflict soon causes unrest in the believers' mind and physical illness.

    Only death can separate the believer from the belief, yet the life is in
    conflict with the belief…recipe for disaster and a epic of acting and
    deception.

    Any mystic or person who has an idea of their own identity and
    makeup will tell you the concept of sin is false and this is reinforced
    by evolution and discursive psychology.

    Sin is absent in our true cosmology which has been determined by the
    Big Bang. Christian cosmology is ridiculous and based on judgement,
    and good vs evil. Sin has no precursor in evolution and everything
    real in the animal world has an evolutionary antecedent.

    Sin is man made and the Law(word) is its source. Please do not
    confuse our conscience as a sin detector. Our conscience is different to
    the laws of Word, and correspond to bioethics.
    Gen 1 Verse 0 In the very beginning, the word made God.

    Do You really think God evolved perfect systems and lower
    organisms only to produce an imperfect specimen?
    If you believe that, you would believe anything!

  • andres says:

    There are certain things ive struggled with in my life. I have economic problems and love problems. But forget the money problems because im not materialistic. I thank god for my job but it doesnt make me happy. Ever since my ex girlfriend or what could have been my wife left me because of the excuse of that she stopped feeling love for me excuse after a 2yr relationship. I loved her so much and she made me happy and I was grateful god put her in my life because normally im not very good with women and im facing that problem today I feel like its a curse. I was devasted and I dont know if ill ever find a girl like her for a wife. I receive jesus as savior but this really affects me. Thanks

  • jefejeffs says:

    Comparing Joy with Happiness:

    "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:1,2

    I think it is possible to have both joy and unhappiness at the same time. It was certainly not a happy thing for the Lord to be on the cross but he did it for the joy set before him. Also a believer could experience joy and unhappiness at the homegoing of a believing relative…joy that they are with the Lord but sadness in missing their loved one. I would say that happiness is an emotion that results from "good" external stimulus while joy is an attitude that is the result of inward choices (and the Holy Spirit's work) in spite of circumstances.

  • @ChrisAgne says:

    Although, I have to say: congratulations on limiting it to just 3!

  • Thanks Ron! I am learning everyday to improve myself and God is shaping me day by day. I may not be perfect but I try to keep moving. I have also learnt that character and obedience to Him is more important.

  • "Refusing to forgive". I find this difficult to practice especially when someone behaves unfiarly with me or is so mean towards me or backstabbs me. I am improving in this front now. Being more patient and forgiving.

    • ronedmondson says:

      You seem like the type that would be easy to forgive…just shows we all struggle with this at times.

  • Trey Bailey says:

    Ron,
    This is spot on. Thank you for the great reminder. In a season where happiness seems to escape me, all three of these points found me today. This is exactly what I needed to read. Thank you again..for being attentive to the Holy Spirit.

  • artie Davis says:

    Love those three man. I have seen so many lives destroyed by practicing just one!

  • Everybody has times of being unhappy – Christian or otherwise. The difference is a Christian will put their trust in God to guide them through the hard times. God knows that people will have hardships, He wants us to continue to put our faith in Him and not give up on Him.

    Being unhappy is a normal process and is definitely 'allowed'.

    • ronedmondson says:

      Totally agree it's allowed. As I said, I have those days myself. I contend though that when I allow my emotions to be in that state of unhappiness, it's usually due to one of the three reasons listed. Thanks for your comment.

    • ronedmondson says:

      Your comment though did cause me to go back and add another paragraph to the post. I don't want to be confusing that it is abnormal to be unhappy at times. I do want to point people to truth. Thank you so much.